For example, Amanda McCloskey of North Bay, Ont., injured her knee this past spring and wound up wearing a brace that encased most of her leg. "I was really disappointed that I wouldn't be able to play soccer on my adult rec team," she says. "Then, I decided to help coach the team instead. I'm still out there enjoying the games and having fun with a great bunch of women." Adds Posen, "If you're having trouble reframing a problem, ask yourself, What would I tell someone else with that same problem?"
5. Hang out with positive people. "It's really important to connect with people who listen to and care for and support us," says Larsen.
6. Write it down. "When you are unhappy, it can be annoying to be told to cheer up and be grateful that you have your home, your family, your health and so on," says MacDonald. "However, counting your blessings and identifying and celebrating them is precisely what you should do." Keep an optimism journal and write down what you are grateful for. Include the basics (food, shelter and loved ones) and then walk around your home or neighbourhood to notice other things. At the end of the day, reread your list so you go to sleep on an "up" note. And if you're grateful to the people in your life, tell them so, to help keep the positivity going.
7. Stop that thought. Turn off that negative little voice in your head, says Posen, especially when it's about something you can't control, like waiting for test results. The first step is noticing the gloomy commentary. Next, say something forceful like "Enough!" or "Stop it!" – whatever it takes to get your attention. (Soon you'll be able to do this silently.) A variation on this tip is to wear an elastic band on your wrist and gently snap it when you notice the negative thoughts. Lastly, substitute pleasant or distracting thoughts so the negative ones don't return.
8. Be kind in small ways. "I have learned that hopefulness does not just appear and stay; it has to be nurtured," says Joan Kovacs. "For me, it's important to feel I can give back to the world. Sometimes it's very tiny things, like holding the door for someone at the mall. At my job as a receptionist, I show people where the coffee is and say a few friendly words, rather than just saying 'OK, I'll let the counsellor know you're here.' These are just simple things, but they make a difference in life."
Page 3 of 4 -- Learn how a small gesture can make a big difference in your outlook on page 4.
