Makeover Diary - How it all began

September 2002
The kids started back to school and everyone had a hard time getting used to the 6:45 wake up and the 7:20 bus pick up time. Thank goodness Tim got the kids ready and I got to wake up at my leisure! My little dream schedule was starting out okay. Except I found I was working 15-20 hours a week for KidSport -- it was just hard to get the job done in less time than that. I also was taking a night class towards my masters every Thursday night. I volunteered to be a Brownie leader on Tuesday nights and a Beaver leader for the boys on Friday night. This left me with Monday and Wednesday nights -- one for a special thing with my kids, and one for me at University. I met with my "Support Team." The life coach, Mary-Ann and I had already met and had begun to set some goals. Michelle Cederberg was the fitness coach. She is cut from the same endless energy cloth as me, so we hit it off right away. My nutrition coach, Kelly Anne Carter Erdman is a colleague of mine and a 1992 cycling Olympian. She has a practical perspective on nutrition and it was clear that there would be no fad dieting and no binging! Verty is the clothing consultant and did my "colours" -- she'll come into play later to complete the transformation. Jarome is a well known hair stylist in Calgary -- can't wait to see what he'll do for the next photography shoot in January. Kelly Blackshaw agreed to do some fitness assessments.

The summary was that I am fit but my BMI (Body Mass Index -- a weight-to-height ratio) was too high. My per cent body fat was 33% -- an all time high for me. Even when I was very pregnant I weighed 188 at the most. My diet was actually okay when it came to meals -- except for a little too much starch at times -- but snacking was a big problem. My goals were to get some balance in my life: work a regular full-time job and have time with my family and a little time for me. Sounds easy but as week two rolled into three and into four I was back to my busy schedule and finding it hard to fit the "me" time in -- when I had free time it was for my family. I followed the nutritional plan to the "t" for the first two weeks, then stress and busyness got to me and I began to snack occasionally -- though less than before, I just couldn't stop snacking altogether. But eating more protein and having regular healthy snacks definitely helped me. By the end of the month I was down four pounds and was physically active five to six times a week.

October 2002

I began to settle into a routine. I was scheduled to do an hour a day of physical activity and was finding it hard to find the time. So instead of beating myself up about it, I agreed to give myself a break and try to follow the fitness program as close as possible given my schedule. I did the best when I had a workout partner. If I was scheduled to meet someone I did -- if it was on my own it was easy to work or sleep instead.

One of the issues is my time of day to work out. I can only work out first thing in the morning, 6:30 -- 8 am and after 8 pm at night. I work during the day and I don't want to work out between 4 and 8 pm because that is my time with the kids. The time restriction was my biggest barrier to working out. I was managing to walk 2-3 times a week during lunchtime at school though.

Halloween was tough as I can't be trusted around a cupboard full of treats. I am weak and during the last few years Tim has had to hide the candy in his car until Halloween night -- because I couldn't stop myself from reaching in for "just one" which always turned into 10 or more mini treats. This year I didn't buy any candy until three days before Halloween and managed to keep the bag closed until then. This was a major feat of success for me. I congratulated my self by letting myself eat whatever treats I wanted to that night. To my surprise after four little chocolate bars I felt gross with the sugar. Wow, I thought, my tolerance had decreased. To celebrate that I let myself have a couple the next day and the next day and so on and so on. Within two weeks my tolerance and bad habit was back in full swing.

Tim went away for 10 days and I was still very busy with work -- when I was home, I was working. When I'd come home I would bring the kids downstairs and work in my office until 5:30. It wasn't easy for them. I would have calls to return and need to concentrate on some work and was always asking them to be quiet. Sometimes I would be frustrated and yell at them. It was unhappy for everyone. After the "witching hour" we'd go upstairs and have dinner and then do our night routine -- which brought some sanity and calmness back temporarily. After they went to bed, I might exercise once a week, but mostly I either worked or slept. I only lost another two pounds that month.

November 2002
I was feeling pretty down, I was supposed to be on this program and making all of these changes to my life by exercising more and eating less. I had increased my exercising but not as much as I wanted and I was still binging. I decided it was time to 'fess up to my "TEAM."

Mary-Ann was encouraging me to cut out my consulting contract, since the 10 hours a week was actually 15 to 20. It wasn't just the hours, it's the stress and pressure of being responsible for the program and for helping the kids and the volunteers. I always put it first because -- well who wouldn't give up some of their time for a good cause? She also asked me to do something for myself. She was completely shocked when I couldn't even think of anything to do for myself by myself. Reading a book, having a bath, and journal writing were all I could come up with -- and those are luxuries I rarely take. I had a gift certificate for the local spa, which I haven't used in a year -- so we agreed on that. So I promised that I would do two things for myself by our next meeting and work on decreasing my hours.

I also called Kelly Anne and confessed to not following the nutritional plan because I was still snacking excessively. I asked her for some type of gradual withdrawal program. But, true to form, Kelly Anne wouldn't yield. She said a food addiction is something you have to learn to control. Food is needed for daily sustenance while other things that people get addicted to are not necessarily needed for basic survival. She said I was just going to have to control my urges; she gave me lots of helpful hints. Don't eat at your computer, because then you associate eating with work. Instead go sit at the table, eat and go back to work. Don't just grab a bag or box of food; instead try and pick a healthy choice and size out a small portion. Drink lots of water and chew gum to keep your mouth busy.

I felt much better for confessing!

My workout schedule, which was very ambitious, was revised. Michelle and I discussed the timetable we had set up and while it is still the ultimate goal -- I need more time to adjust to it. My work timetable was too hectic still and that exercise program was developed for someone with a more regular and consistent schedule, which I didn't have yet. We still met once a week and the sessions were as good for me mentally as physically. Michelle is motivating and knows that, since I am a former athlete, she can push me hard. I know how it feels to have the right weight and push through the repetitions.

By the end of the month I had a clear conscience and I had lost nine pounds in total! I had a long relaxing bath, instead of a hurried shower, and I wrote a little. But I didn't get to the spa!