Maureen Holloway's breast cancer story

This story was originally titled "Breast cancer? You're Joking" in the October 2008 issue. Subscribe to Canadian Living today and never miss an issue!

So this woman walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I'm heading to the cottage for the weekend." And the doctor says, "No, you're not. You have cancer."

Three hours and much hand-wringing later, the punch line: full mastectomy of the right breast required immediately, followed by chemo and radiation therapy.

"I was like, you know what? Lop it off. Lop 'em both off," jokes Maureen Holloway. [Pause for 
effect.] "And they said it wasn't necessary."

Clearly, not even cancer could knock the funny out of Mo, as she is affectionately known to hundreds of thousands of fans across the country.

Holloway's irreverent, acid-tongued take on the Hollywood scene is heard daily on radio stations in every major Canadian city. She has also been a contributor on "eNow" and "Canada AM" and earned a Gemini nomination for her work on "The Dish Show" on the Comedy Network.

Back in May 2005, at the age of 45 and conscious of the approach of midlife, she had already taken steps to protect her health. She'd long since quit smoking, started eating right and signed on with a personal trainer.  She regularly performed breast self-examinations and had mammograms to test her healthy pair of C-cups.

But one day, with her arm slung on the back of a chair, a chance brush of her right breast turned up a lump.  Closer inspection revealed a growth she could feel and see another visible red one about two inches away – both of which she brought to the attention of her physician.
"I reassured the doctor that everything was fine," she quips.

But two and half months' worth of tests later it was determined that a lumpectomy – the surgical removal of the lump – was required to treat what she refers to as "garden-variety" breast cancer. "I know that sounds really callous," she says, "but my cancer was originally diagnosed as ductal carcinoma in situ, which is just about 100 per cent curable if you catch it in time." (Carcinoma in situ is the term used for early stage cancer that has not spread.)

Metaplastic carcinoma
That stop on the way to the cottage was supposed to be a routine pre-op appointment before the lumpectomy, but Holloway's whole world tilted on 
its axis with the much-graver diagnosis of metaplastic carcinoma, an extremely rare and little-understood form of cancer with a disturbingly uncertain outcome.

Indeed, a 2006 report from the web archive of the U.S. National Institutes of Health states: "[Metaplastic carcinoma] represents as little as 0.02 per cent of all breast malignancies. There is a relative paucity of data regarding treatment options and prognosis."

"Nobody should ever have to hear that – that there's a possibility you might die soon but, then again, you might not," she says, adding, "By the way, they still can't tell me."

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