Every person is unique
Teaching a child that everyone is different in many ways and that's what makes us special tells children that it's OK to acknowledge differences and to embrace them. Talk about words and behaviours that hurt and suggest alternative appropriate behaviours. Teach them tact and sensitivity.
A good approach to sensitivity training is to take time to talk about every possible difference a child might encounter. Differences could include skin colour, race, culture, religious beliefs, jobs, gender, age, education, personal style, medical issues, weight, language and even communication style. Introduce children to books and videos about all of those issues and talk to them about how they are expected to respond when they encounter them. Be specific about appropriate words and behaviours and practice them by role-playing, dressing up, or putting on puppet shows.
A respectful approach
Oftentimes it's adults, not children, who are uncomfortable with differences and it's we who shush a child, scold, embarrass or apologize for him/her and cause a big scene. Instead, why not acknowledge the difference pointed out by the child and then suggest a respectful reaction?
"Yes, Johnny, that boy does have purple hair," then smile and say hello to the purple-haired boy. "You're right, she does have pretty black hair, let's go and meet her," or "Yes, she is in a wheelchair, I wonder how she manages in the snow, let's see if she needs some help."
When children make comments like "she's fat" or "he's ugly," it's best just to smile and say hello; most people realize that children have their own minds and can be honest to a fault. Later, let the child know that he/she is entitled to an opinion but also that there is a time and place for expressing it.
Explain that saying what you think out loud can sometimes hurt someone else's feelings. Encourage him/her to find something positive to say about the different person and remind the child that everyone deserves respect.
Karen Mallett and Lewena Bayer are nationally recognized as "Canada's etiquette experts." If you would like to ask them a question, please click here.
Page 2 of 2
