The family meal

Dinner is a ritual that can keep the family in touch. But in the teen's quest for independence, he may frequently miss family meals. It's not just that having dinner with his family doesn't top his priority list. He has competing responsibilities with homework, a part-time job, the basketball team, not to mention a dozen or so friends.

So don't have lofty expectations that the evening meal will bond the family together. Your teen may not even make it to special dinners. How can he if they fall during his shift as a lifeguard at the pool? If you want to continue enjoying the companionship of a meal with your son, you'll need to be flexible and work around his schedule. If he's having a warmed-up dinner at 10:00 p.m. when he's back from the pool, make yourself a cup of tea and sit down beside him. He doesn't want to eat alone in the kitchen. And he won't even know what he's eating if he eats in front of the TV.

As much as possible, encourage your adolescent to eat at home. Research shows that when a teenager eats one of the day's meals away from home, it significantly decreases his intake of calcium, iron, vitamin C and thiamine. What's missing from fast-food meals are fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and milk.

Since teens tend to move in a pack, when dinner time rolls around you could find that your daughter has three of her friends lounging in your living room. It's perfectly within your rights to tell them that you're going to have dinner now and that you'll see them later. But occasionally, why not invite them to join you? It will nourish the friendships, and enjoying a meal with your teen's friends is a good way to get to know them.