At 38, Tony had long lived with what he described as an "active" bowel, but earlier that year, his bowel had become even more active. The diarrhea problem often forced him to make several urgent washroom stops every day. But Tony felt fine, and since he hadn't lost any weight, he didn't worry too much about the diarrhea. There was no history of FAP in his family either (we later learned that about one-third of cases appear as new mutations of the gene).
On Dec. 3, 2004 – our 11th wedding anniversary – Tony had a colonoscopy. The procedure revealed that Tony had thousands of polyps in his colon and confirmed that some of the polyps had become cancerous. Surgery to remove his colon was scheduled for late January.
'Sudden twist of fate'
The diagnosis was devastating. The hardest part was seeing Tony so upset. I sat beside him in the recovery room and we had a good cry together over this sudden twist of fate. Tony slowly came to grips with the news and by the time we left the hospital, he asked the doctor, "OK, what do I have to do to get better?" There was never any recognition that he might not make it through.
We decided to tell the boys the truth about their father's illness. "Are you going to die?" Richard asked, with worried eyes. We had agreed to keep things as normal as possible for our sons, and that included having a houseful of family at Christmas. It helped me to talk to family as well as to friends, colleagues – anyone who would listen. At one of Richard's hockey games, the poor, unsuspecting mother of one of his teammates asked, "How are you?" I couldn't stop the rush of words from spilling out. I told her about Tony's illness, the boys' chances of inheriting it and my fears for all of them. This made her uncomfortable, but I couldn't stop myself. And I felt better afterward.
During surgery, doctors discovered that the cancer had spread to Tony's liver. Over the next two years, he had two more operations to remove liver tumours and several rounds of chemotherapy. Tony, who used to faint at the mere sight of blood, stayed strong and positive throughout it all.
I, on the other hand, was growing increasingly anxious and fearful. Weighing heavily on my mind was the boys' chances of inheriting the disease. Testing was under way to pinpoint the exact sequence of Tony's gene abnormality. Then, a simple blood test would determine if either or both of our sons had inherited it.
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