Self-injury and cutting: Is your child at risk?

Originally titled "Bodily Harm," from the September 2007 issue of Canadian Living Magazine, on newsstands or click here to purchase online.

The hand clenching started when Christine was about 12, but it soon progressed to cutting the skin on her arms with razor blades or pieces of broken glass; she felt she needed to inflict more pain just to feel the same release. She started cutting flesh farther up her arm so she could hide the scabs and scars with long sleeves.

Secret behaviour
Christine cut herself in secret but she was not alone in her silent suffering. A 2002 Canadian survey of kids in grades 7, 8 and 9 found 13.9 per cent had tried to injure themselves at least once, with some reporting they tried it as early as Grade 4. A study of Grade 9 students in London, Ont., found that 15 per cent of girls and 11 per cent of boys had deliberately hurt themselves in the previous three months.

Self-injury -- whether in the form of cutting, bruising, head banging or hair pulling -- is often a quiet cry for help. However, it should not be confused with suicidal or other attention-seeking behaviours, stresses Nancy Heath, a professor of educational and counselling psychology at McGill University in Montreal. “It's absolutely not about trying to get attention. The vast majority of these individuals never come forward,” says Heath.

Indeed, many go out of their way to hide what they're doing. Even though self-injury occurs in homes of adolescents right across the country, parents often never find out that their daughter or son is self-injuring.

Kept in the dark
Maria*, Christine's mother, was no exception. She was kept in the dark about Christine's self-injury for years and only found out about it when it was discovered that Christine had an even bigger, more painful secret: as a child, she had been sexually abused by a close family member.

The day Maria learned about Christine's secret slashing was a turning point for the family. “I didn't get upset or angry,” says Maria. Instead, she took the time to talk to her daughter to find out why she felt compelled to hurt herself and to tell her she loved her and wanted to help. “It's important to stay close to your child, reassure her and try to make her happier,” she says. It was an approach that made Christine comfortable talking about the issue.

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