Culture & Entertainment

A Big Parenting Fail

By: Guest Blogger
Canadian Living
Culture & Entertainment

A Big Parenting Fail

By: Guest Blogger
There are things you do as a parent no one can prepare you for. Example? The school’s annual lip sync night. Often the most painful night of the year, a bunch of non-dancers make up routines and sing along to their “favourite” songs.  Last year one mum was selling wine from her porch to numb the pain.  (She also raised several hundred dollars for the PSA, but for obvious reasons it was given as an “anonymous” donation...) Good parents that we are, we politely sit through agonizing versions of butchered top 40 songs while praying for intermission to come so we can buy oversized freezies to take the edge off.  Mostly, we suck it up and smile our way through 12 versions of angst-ridden Adele songs. As I scanned the programme this year looking for the bairn’s spot (lord give me strength -5 th after intermission), a parent jokingly said “anything inappropriate?” Yes, yes there was.  Some grade 2 girls were doing a little ditty by Katy Perry called Last Friday Night. Oh sure, it’s all bubblegum pop, but a 7 year old singing “ is this a hickie or a bruise, pictures of last night ended up online - I'm screwed, with full actions, is anything but. I was disgusted by my fellow parents, not just the ones who actually birthed the children, but the ones who were running the progamme and allowed them to continue with that song. Shame on you. While the media makes us believe we’re empowering our girls with things like Dove’s campaign for “real beauty” and charitable awareness like Because I Am a Girl, truth is, we’re failing. Example?  It was next to impossible to find a pair of shorts that weren’t the 2013 equivalent of Daisy Dukes in any of the shops this year.  I want my girl to dress like a girl, not someone who’s going to grab a juicebox after school and go work the strip. Maybe I missed the memo on how we’re just going to raise a crop of women who strive for nothing less than a 2-day hangover and an STD. Is it just me?     For the record, here are your Katy Perry lyrics: There's a stranger in my bed There's a pounding in my head Glitter all over the room Pink flamingos in the pool I smell like a minibar DJ's passed out in the yard Barbies on the barbeque Is this a hickey or a bruise   Pictures of last night Ended up online I'm screwed Oh well It's a blacked-out blur But I'm pretty sure it ruled Damn   Last Friday night Yeah we danced on tabletops And we took too many shots Think we kissed but I forgot   Last Friday night Yeah we maxed our credit cards And got kicked out of the bar So we hit the boulevard   Last Friday night We went streaking in the park Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a ménage-a-trois   Last Friday night Yeah I think we broke the law Always say we're gonna stop-op Ooh-ohh   This Friday night Do it all again This Friday night Do it all again   Trying to connect the dots Don't know what to tell my boss Think the city towed my car Chandelier is on the floor Ripped my favourite party dress Warrants out for my arrest Think I need a ginger ale That was such an epic fail   Pictures of last night Ended up online I'm screwed Oh well It's a blacked-out blur But I'm pretty sure it ruled Damn   Last Friday night Yeah we danced on tabletops And we took too many shots Think we kissed but I forgot   Last Friday night Yeah we maxed our credit cards And got kicked out of the bar So we hit the boulevard   Last Friday night We went streaking in the park Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a ménage-a-trois   Last Friday night Yeah I think we broke the law Always say we're gonna stop-op Ooh-ohh   This Friday night Do it all again Do it all again This Friday night Do it all again Do it all again This Friday night    

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A Big Parenting Fail

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