Culture & Entertainment

Do married people really know more than singles?

By: Stephanie Zolis
Canadian Living
Culture & Entertainment

Do married people really know more than singles?

By: Stephanie Zolis
I normally love the Huffington Post. In fact, despite the fact that I hated something I read on their website this week, I always love the Huffington Post. I just don't love its readers, apparently, at least not the married ones. Two days ago, the online publication posted the results of a poll asking readers to share their observations on married life, concepts "only a married person would understand." I was uncomfortable with such a blanket statement from the onset—who's to say no unmarried person on the planet could relate, or that all married people were as enlightened as their peers? But, nevertheless, I was intrigued. Perhaps there was something of value here, I thought. Until I read the responses. There were the generic responses that made no sense: "The concept of "forever." (There is no forever. You will both die!) There were the obvious responses: "Marriage is nothing like dating." Really? I'm shocked. Even, "Companionship means more than sex." Does that imply that, prior to marriage, sex is the basis of any romantic relationship? Then there were the offensive remarks that highlight the superiority that some (not all or even many) married people feel over those who've yet to say, "I do." Am I the only unmarried person who finds any of this offensive? I could go on and find holes in just about any of the 20 comments; all could apply to anyone in a committed relationship, married or not (although I'll have to wait until marriage to see if I'm still repulsed by the concept of open bathroom doors). I buy into the whole, "You don't understand what it's like to be a parent until you have a child yourself." I can't imagine what it's like to carry a vulnerable human being, who just so happens to be wreaking havoc on my body, inside of me for nine months. I can't begin to understand the bond that develops between a parent and child after its born, or the highs and the lows that result from him or her entering your life, permanently. But I just can't wrap my head around things changing so drastically for newlyweds overnight, when all that's really changed is the introduction of a legal contract, the terms of which its parties have most likely been acting in accordance with even before it was signed, before the vows were spoken. It's possible things do change after one says, "I do." I won't know until I take those vows, if I ever choose to do so. But I refuse to believe a married person understands the value of forgiveness or commitment better than my monogamous boyfriend and me, or our common law friends and family, simply because he or she got hitched. Commitment is commitment. Married individuals had that the moment they verbally agreed to be with one another, and only one another. All this post does is let people like me know we're not missing out on a whole lot.
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Do married people really know more than singles?

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