Culture & Entertainment

Rebounds: Romantic recourse or disaster in the making?

Canadian Living
Culture & Entertainment

Rebounds: Romantic recourse or disaster in the making?

Anyone who begins a new relationship straight out of an old one has probably been privy to eye rolls or words of warning from onlookers. This is only a rebound, they say. You'll get hurt. Shouldn't you work on yourself instead? But the lovelorn can rejoice. Rebounds aren't a bad thing after all. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships recently published the results of a study that proves new romance following a breakup results in quicker recovery. In a survey of 313 young adults, Queens College and the University of Illinois found that those who stay single after ending a relationship are more prone to lower self-esteem and confidence. There's probably still merit in casual rebound sex critiques. But I'm a firm believer in putting the past behind by starting anew. rekindle_love_Valentines_Day My first significant romantic relationship was a tumultuous, on-and-off roller-coaster ride. The first six months were solid, but the second half of the first year marked the beginning of a steep decline. We broke up shortly after, yet we returned to each other time and time again. For 10 years. When I realized there was no saving this relationship—or man, for that matter—I couldn't imagine there would be a day that I'd be at peace with our breakup. I immediately began dating in an attempt to distract myself. But after every awful encounter, I compared the guy in question to my ex, or at least the feelings I had for him (or the man I mistakenly thought he was). It was foolish to compare my feelings for a first date to those I felt for a boyfriend of 10 years, no matter how flawed he was. On my third first date, I began to question whether dating was the right distraction for me. But that first date turned into a second and a third, and I realized I was beginning to establish a connection. At the beginning, he worried he was simply a rebound. I couldn't blame him, but I could reassure him. And it wasn't a lie. I knew I wasn't over my ex when we first met, but I knew our budding relationship had helped me overcome that hurdle. Had I not met my now-boyfriend (we just celebrated our one-year anniversary last week), I still would have managed to get over said ex on my own. But it would have taken longer than the mere two months it did, and I doubt I'd have realized that there are good men out there. My so-called rebound gave me hope and my first true taste of what love should be. Introspection and the support of friends and family have their place in the relationship recovery process. But there's no better cure to a bad habit than breaking the cycle post-breakup. Image: ©iStockphoto.com/Photolyric
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Rebounds: Romantic recourse or disaster in the making?

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