Culture & Entertainment
Why I don't believe in saying "Stop Crying" to kids
Culture & Entertainment
Why I don't believe in saying "Stop Crying" to kids
[caption id="attachment_1824" align="aligncenter" width="461" caption="The little boy featured in "Reasons my Son is Crying""]
[/caption] This tiny cutie, above, is not my son...he's the tot featured in the viral Tumblr blog
Reasons My Son Is Crying. No one's asking me, but I hope no one ever tells this little boy to stop crying. I don't really want anyone to tell my son, 4, to stop crying. Here's why: 1.
Kids need to cry. Sometimes. Oftentimes. All the time. They do it for years. Eventually they stop. They grow up, they self-regulate, and they stop crying, and they slam the door instead. Look, in a fit of frustration I've told my kid to stop crying. I'm not perfect. But I don't recommend it. 2. I don't have proof of this, but
I think boys are admonished to stop crying more than girls. Do you agree? I hate that, because boys grow up and they really won't ever cry because they were shamed for crying when they were little. That's not better than crying, we can safely say. 3.
Kids (usually) need a hug or love of some sort when they are crying. A certain family member of mine has said to my son "Put your tears away!" or "Stop crying!" on about two or three occasions. (Which never works on him, incidentally, though I suspect it does on the little kids in her classroom. She's a teacher.) I don't make it an issue (with her) because he doesn't cry that much when he's around others, he saves it for me. Crying with mom and dad is showing emotion and/or being temperamental in a safe place. Of course, kids have tantrums too! But saying Stop Crying doesn't usually end those, not in my experience. I only have one kid, not five, so it's safe to say I am not a tantrum/crying expert. 4.
Kids that cry a lot don't end up being adult brats. Isn't that what, ultimately, we're worried about? That's not how it works. Some people are sensitive, and they cry more than others. So what? Some people have socio-emotional regulation issues, so they cry a lot. So what? Some people are less verbal than others, too. That's not a sin. So you can stop crying, if you want to. Just don't tell my kid to. -Helen
[/caption] This tiny cutie, above, is not my son...he's the tot featured in the viral Tumblr blog
Reasons My Son Is Crying. No one's asking me, but I hope no one ever tells this little boy to stop crying. I don't really want anyone to tell my son, 4, to stop crying. Here's why: 1.
Kids need to cry. Sometimes. Oftentimes. All the time. They do it for years. Eventually they stop. They grow up, they self-regulate, and they stop crying, and they slam the door instead. Look, in a fit of frustration I've told my kid to stop crying. I'm not perfect. But I don't recommend it. 2. I don't have proof of this, but
I think boys are admonished to stop crying more than girls. Do you agree? I hate that, because boys grow up and they really won't ever cry because they were shamed for crying when they were little. That's not better than crying, we can safely say. 3.
Kids (usually) need a hug or love of some sort when they are crying. A certain family member of mine has said to my son "Put your tears away!" or "Stop crying!" on about two or three occasions. (Which never works on him, incidentally, though I suspect it does on the little kids in her classroom. She's a teacher.) I don't make it an issue (with her) because he doesn't cry that much when he's around others, he saves it for me. Crying with mom and dad is showing emotion and/or being temperamental in a safe place. Of course, kids have tantrums too! But saying Stop Crying doesn't usually end those, not in my experience. I only have one kid, not five, so it's safe to say I am not a tantrum/crying expert. 4.
Kids that cry a lot don't end up being adult brats. Isn't that what, ultimately, we're worried about? That's not how it works. Some people are sensitive, and they cry more than others. So what? Some people have socio-emotional regulation issues, so they cry a lot. So what? Some people are less verbal than others, too. That's not a sin. So you can stop crying, if you want to. Just don't tell my kid to. -Helen
Comments