This is how Reasons Mommy Drinks (Three Rivers Press, 2013) introduces you to the over 100 drinks you'll need to get through parenthood.
Reasons Mommy Drinks is a hilarious blog-turned-book by Lyranda Martin Evans and Fiona Stevenson, two Toronto moms. Lyranda and Fiona hope to be a new mom's "girlfriend," helping her to find the comedy in her now sleepless nights, her asymmetrical boobs and the explosive poo that somehow ends up in her hair. To get a new mom through these delightful stages of parenthood, they've concocted a drink for each moment. There’s even one for labour: "'Wish You Were A' Virgin Mary."
Canadian Living Moms chatted with Lyranda and Fiona about their new book and what drink they think all moms need.
Canadian Living Moms: What inspired the book?
Fiona: It's really a tribute to moms, because moms today are absolutely amazing – they’re just consumed with this overwhelming desire to do the best for their baby.
But it's definitely hard. There are overwhelming moments because women put so much pressure on themselves and society puts so much pressure on women. We definitely wanted to address these issues, but in a comedic way and to give moms permission to laugh.
Lyranda: Especially with the books that are out there, at least the books that I received, they do prepare you – they prepare you for the danger scenarios and the worst-case scenarios.
One of the entries in our book is about compulsively checking on your baby when he or she sleeps. We also have this other entry called "Mommy Fear." I think it's because we are such A-type people, and I think most moms are, where we are constantly researching everything – on the Internet and in books – on what can happen. What can I do? How can I prevent this? And our book allows moms just to laugh.
CL Moms: What do you feel that nobody warned you about parenthood?
Lyranda: All of it. Especially the first stuff. Moms don't want to complain, especially because a new baby is such a blessing and such a wonderful thing. Moms don't want to be like, “But, by the way, you're not going to sleep. By the way, your nipples are going to bleed. And, by the way, it's going to be really hard and labour is going to be a disaster.”
CL Moms: Do you have any advice for moms?
Fiona: We hope moms learn that they are not alone, and that one day they’ll look back at even those really difficult and overwhelming moments and laugh at them. And, of course, that it's all so worth it.
CL Moms: What drink do you think all moms need?
Lyranda: Coffee is the drink that moms must have. I've already had two. (Note: It was 10:00 a.m.).
Fiona: We totally admire moms who are able to go caffeine free, but we haven't been able to do so.
Lyranda: It's me and my Tassimo at 6:00 a.m.
CL Moms: What's your hope for the book?
Fiona: What we would love is if it becomes that ultimate baby shower gift and the one book the expectant mom really feels she needs on her bookshelf. The essays we wrote are short and funny and light, and it's because in the first six months – or maybe the first five years – moms are really, really time starved and don't have a lot of time to read the great novel. So it's these really short essays that she can fit into those two-minute breaks that she has, maybe when she is breastfeeding at 3:00 a.m.
Lyranda: This is the new Sophie the Giraffe. It's the must-have baby shower gift.
You can get daily updates from Lyranda and Fiona on the Reasons Mommy Drinks Twitter account. And we've got 10 delicious drinks – all alcoholic – to get you through those rough days.