6 simple ways to reconnect with your partner

By: Jessica Padykula

Author: Canadian Living


6 simple ways to reconnect with your partner

By: Jessica Padykula
Long days at work, family commitments, kids, chores – it's a wonder you have time to sleep, let alone spend quality time with your significant other.

If this sounds like you, we're here to help. You may not be able to take a weeklong vacation to get the time together you need, but there are other, simpler means of reconnecting.

We've pulled together some of the most effective ways to help you and your partner get back on track in spite of your hectic schedules. Toronto-based psychotherapist and relationship expert Kimberly Moffit lets us in on why finding time to regularly bond with your partner is so important.

Reconnection report
Finding time to connect with your partner when your schedules are incredibly busy may seem like a lot of work and sometimes even too much effort – but it is well worth the time.

"Connecting and feeling romantic together keeps the relationship healthy and happy, and keeps both partners excited about their future together," Moffit explains.

On the contrary, when couples don't find time to reconnect, the relationship often feels soulless, flat, unromantic and mechanical. "Over a long period of time, this can feel unsatisfying and can even lead to a breakup or divorce," says Moffit.

Check out these easy, simple tips on how to reconnect now.

1. Make ordinary things romantic
You don't need to wait for date night or a special occasion to feel romantic – we all know those are few and far between. Instead, Moffit suggests finding romance in the everyday.

"Even if it's just lighting a few candles and dimming the lights while eating takeout food, taking the time to sit face to face and talk about your day can help you to feel cared about and connected," she says.

2. Touch each other

Don't discount simple acts of intimacy, such as holding hands, when it comes to feeling closer to your partner. This is especially important when you haven't had time for sex or other forms of more extended closeness.

"Touch is a very effective form of intimacy," Moffit says. "Giving your partner hugs, kisses and even small shoulder-rubs once in a while helps you to feel that you're physically connected."

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3. Remember your past together
One of the most effective ways to boost your bond is to reminisce about your shared past. Put on a song that you used to listen to and dance in the living room, and talk about the memories you had in the first year you were dating, back when the romance was fresh. Nostalgia is a powerful tool in recreating a connection, explains Moffit.

4. Tap into shared interests
Having some common interests makes it much easier to stay connected. For instance, if you both love sushi, try taking a sushi-making workshop together.

"Doing activities that are fun and flirty can add something special to your everyday and help you create new memories," Moffit says. The more you can do together as a couple, the more opportunities there will be to reconnect on a more regular basis.

5. Set goals together

Shared ambitions are another must for couples who want to reconnect. "Goal-setting is by far the most effective way to connect and feel excited about the future," Moffit says.

Talk about your financial goals together, your careers, your children (or future children), vacation plans and any other shared dreams you have. Once you've settled on something to work toward as a couple, create a five-, 10- or 15-year plan with your partner to accomplish your goal.

6. Show your support

If your partner has a special interest or accomplishes something significant, step up and show that you're proud of them. Watch them play a sport they love, cheer them on if they're running a race or help them celebrate a raise or promotion.

"These are all great opportunities for you to celebrate life's milestones and for them to feel loved and supported," explains Moffit. The more you support each other, the stronger your bond will become.

It's never too late to reconnect with your partner, and the process doesn't have to be daunting. Small actions and efforts made on a daily or weekly basis can create big results when it comes to bringing you and your significant other closer – even in spite of that ever-growing pile of laundry.

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6 simple ways to reconnect with your partner