Relationships

Finding your matched opposite

Author: Canadian Living

Relationships

Finding your matched opposite

All of us want love -- to love someone and to be loved in return. But some seem to find their soulmates easily, while others seek and seek and don't find lasting love.

Nicholas Boothman, author of How To Make Someone Love You Forever! in 90 Minutes or Less, joined Dr. Marla Shapiro in the Balance Television studio to talk about how to find true love.

The first thing to do in your quest for love is to understand yourself, and to figure out what kind of person you are. People can be divided into four basic groups, said Boothman, and before you can decided what your "type" is, you need to discover what type you are.

"We can divide people into more or less four groups, and people tend to not get along with people in their own group but they will match with people in other groups," Boothman said.

Four Types of People

PROMOTER:
• Persuasive and entertaining
• Spontaneous and friendly
• Enjoys recognition and prestige
• Dislikes routine

Key feeling: Important

SUPPORTER:
• Reliable and a good listener
• Loyal, sincere, supportive
• Enjoys working behind the scenes
• Honest and reliable

Key feeling: Valued

CONTROLLER:
• Quick and decisive
• Direct and self-assured
• Strong-willed and strong minded
• Dislikes indecision

Key feeling: Powerful

ANALYST:
• Perfectionist
• Neat and organized
• Detail oriented
• Likes facts and logic

Key feeling: Intelligent

Once you've found out how you are, it's time to find your "matched opposite," Boothman said. The person with whom you'll find lasting love is both similar to and different from you. Some say that opposites attract, but Boothman said that a combination of basic similarities with some interesting differences is what will create a spark that lasts.

For example, a promoter, who is socially extroverted and emotional, can find love with a supporter, who prefers to stay in the background but is also emotional. As long as both partners are getting their key feeling from the relationship, the relationship will last. Here is an example. The supporter stays in the background, helping the promoter achieve their goals, helping the promoter to feel his or her key feeling: important. In turn, the promoter recognizes and appreciates the supporter's role, making the supporter feel his or her key feeling: valued.

When each personality type is getting their key feeling, Boothman said, they have a sense of completion. Hence the notion that once you've found your soulmate, you are complete.

Armed with the knowledge of who you are and who your matched opposite is, you now need to get out there and meet people. Meeting and getting to know as many people as possible is part of the process for meeting your true love.

Looking for love is about selection, not rejection, said Boothman: "If you're with somebody, if you're on a date and it's not working, it's nothing personal. You're simply not with your matched opposite. So there becomes no rejection -- only selection."


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Finding your matched opposite

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