Weddings

How to be considerate of your bridesmaids

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Weddings

How to be considerate of your bridesmaids

He popped the question, you said yes and now you can't wait to plan the day you've been dreaming about for what feels like forever. You already know what you want your bridesmaids' dresses to look like, how you want them to wear their hair and even where you want to have your bachelorette party.

Although having everything figured out can be helpful, there's a fine line between being a bride who knows what she wants and becoming a bridezilla.

Since you don't want your bridesmaids to loathe you by the time your wedding day arrives we asked Andrea Lown, founding partner of smartbrideboutique.com, to share five ways to avoid driving even your closest friends crazy.

1. Don't have multiple bridal showers
One bridal shower is good, two is doable, but anything over that and you'll be monopolizing your bridesmaids' entire summers.

"Don't forget that your maids probably also have showers and events for other brides," notes Lown. "If you have to have multiple showers because separate groups are throwing parties on your behalf, then invite select bridesmaids to each one so you can limit the events they need to attend, but still have one bridesmaid to help out recording gifts," she advises.


2. Don't plan an out-of-town bachelorette party
Having a bachelorette party that requires travel often costs a lot and forces your bridesmaids to be holed up together all weekend, which can be tough if you're their only connection. Rather than heading further afield, make a compromise.

"Try booking a hotel in town so those attending the festivities can crash together if needed," suggests Lown. "Then book a dinner the night of, before you go out, and a brunch or spa day the next morning so invitees of different ages and interests can participate in some way," she adds. Everyone will be a lot more comfortable.


Page 1 of 2 -- Discover three more great ways to be considerate of your bridesmaids on page 2.
3. Don't choose a bridesmaid dress over $200 unless you're paying for it
If you're having your bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, try to ensure the dresses are a style and colour they might wear again.

"In this case, don't go to a bridal store that sells bridesmaid dresses – you can spot them a mile away at any event," warns Lown.

These dresses are often expensive and are not usually available in styles that most women will want to wear again, she explains. Brides get painted with a negative brush when they make their bridesmaids spend a fortune. Your closest friends will likely endure many costs leading up to your wedding, from hosting events for you to buying you gifts, so be considerate. Even though it's your special day, your bridesmaids likely have a budget they need to stay within.

4. Don't choose one dress to suit all of your bridesmaids
"Often when you try to satisfy everyone, you end up with the lowest common denominator," says Lown. "Try to allow each bridesmaid to find a neckline, silhouette and colour that suits her, even if it means you have bridesmaids in several shades of a similar colour palette," she advises.

The better your bridesmaids look, the more fun they'll have and the better your pictures will turn out. You want those closest to you to feel comfortable, and since women are all different shapes and sizes allowing them to choose their own dresses will make them feel like you understand their needs. Plus, they'll be much happier, even if you're uptight about other things (like arriving at 11:00 a.m. for a full day of picture taking).

5. Don't dictate their hair and makeup
Bring a few pictures of the style of makeup that you're going for and allow your bridesmaids to work with the makeup artist on the colours and styles that suit their skin tone and features best.

"You should all look consistent, but not like you just rolled off an assembly line," says Lown.

The same applies to hair. You can have an idea of what you want, but allow for various options depending on your bridesmaids' hair colour, face shape and overall comfort level.

There's a fine line between being a bride who has a vision and being a bride who is disastrously demanding. When in doubt, think about how you would feel if you were a bridesmaid and someone was requesting these things of you. Use that knowledge to take yourself out of the "me, me, me" mindset so everyone involved enjoys the pre-wedding proceedings.

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How to be considerate of your bridesmaids

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