While running errands on Day 41, I stopped in at a coffee shop. I got the attention of a young, tall guy in an apron and dumped some change on the counter. "The next senior who comes in," I said, "tell them the coffee has already been paid for." My cheeks flushed red-hot. I was self-conscious, but determined.
Nevertheless, I couldn't resist checking in the next week to find out what had happened. The same man was there, smiling. "Yeah, the money's been used," he said – rather proudly, I thought. He quickly explained that the change had paid for two seniors' orders – only because he'd added cash from the till. "That was nice of you," I said, astonished. "They really liked it," he replied, grinning broadly. As my daughter mused: "When you do good deeds, it makes other people do good deeds."
By the final week, as I walked to a nursing home in my neighbourhood with an armful of flowers, I realized that I was close to accomplishing what had at first seemed so unattainable. I celebrated Day 50 by making cupcakes and distributing them to neighbours – including one couple who we don't exactly play bridge with every Saturday night. (I explained to Emily: when you turn your enemies into friends, you have no more enemies.)
I was pleased with myself for making it through the 50 days, then stunned and humbled by my analysis: three-quarters of my good deeds had cost no money. The average time they'd taken was 17 minutes each. And, OK, my energy level is still challenged, but my feel-good factor had truly soared.
50 days and counting
Certain practices have since stuck with me: I notice more; I help more; I do many more good deeds than I used to.
And how about my daughter? Her track record speaks for itself. Since those pivotal 50 days she has donated birthday toys to a women's shelter, used her allowance money to buy mosquito netting for a family in Niger and helped raise funds for Christmas toys for needy children.
Recently Emily sacrificed 10 inches of her hair for a charity that makes wigs for sick kids. It was quite a shift from braids to a pixie cut, but my daughter giggled as her long locks fell through the scissors and to the floor.
Emily gets it now: When she sees me help a senior in a store, or bring homemade soup to new parents on our street, she doesn't ask me: "Why?" She's right there beside me, reaching up to ring the doorbell
Take the good deeds challenge
Challenge your family to make this December a season of living generously. Come up with your own list of good deeds that don't cost a dime, such as scraping the ice off a neighbour's car. Then, get out the calendar and mark down what you plan to do each day. You can even encourage some friendly competition among your kids – and with your spouse.
Check out good deed ideas so you can start on your 50 good deeds for 50 days!
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