The next 19 pages of the financial statement for my separation came straight from accounting hell. I needed to provide annual costs for everything from school supplies to property taxes. Forget taking a snapshot of my life – this was more like a four-volume CD-ROM.
Panic rising, I smiled weakly. Clearly, my lawyer hadn't seen my medieval filing system of storage boxes, plastic bags and recycled folders liberally decorated with cryptic numbers, notes and flowery doodles.
Breathe deeply, I told myself. Gathering the minutiae of a lifetime won't be easy, but neither is giving birth, or listening to four hours of The Wiggles with kids in a van. And I've done both. Twice. (The Wiggles more than twice.)
Weeks later, as a newly single mother of two struggling to cut costs, pay bills and sleep without images of debt collectors dancing in my head, I wasn't quite so complacent about reorganizing my financial affairs.
I'd always managed the bills, mortgage and shopping, but did so without giving money much thought. Mundane payments for registered retirement savings plans, registered education savings plans, property tax, mortgage and life insurance all happened auto-magically through the twin technological marvels of direct debit and online payments. Sure, we sometimes struggled – but not enough to prepare me for life after the collapse of an 18-year marriage.
With careful planning, sole parenting doesn't have to put you in the poorhouse. "It's challenging, especially when you're just getting through the day-today," says Eva Sachs, founder of Women in Divorce Financial in Toronto. "But the more clearly you think, the better off you will be." Here's where to start.
1. Gather information
"How much do I spend on kids' haircuts annually?" I chewed my pencil and frowned. There was no space for "No bloody idea" on the form my lawyer had given me to work out income, assets, debts and spending. But as I plodded along – alternately bored silly and scared speechless – my fiscal picture slowly came into focus. "Assume that you need to stand on your own two feet," says Jennifer Maier, a financial planner in Port Coquitlam, B.C. "Look at your fixed and discretionary expenses, and ask yourself, How am I going to move in the right direction?"
2. Make a plan
When Carmen Barkasy's husband of 15 years walked out in the spring of 2007, he left her with more than just a broken heart. The Vancouver couple, who rented and had car payments, were $40,000 in debt.
