The family formation time of life, traditionally a financially challenging period for couples, has become even more difficult for today's under-45s, says Ruth Berry, a professor of family studies at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg. "There's such discontinuity for young people in the labour force; it's difficult to become well-established. Under-45s carry the highest debt loads in this country and account for the most bankruptcies," she says. "That uncertainty is leading people to marry later, if at all, and have their children later.
"There is no longer a lock-step progression through the life cycle, beginning with a job and annual vacations and ending with a guaranteed pension and a comfortable retirement," says Berry. That's why she tells her students that they must be responsible for their own finances and their own lives by paying off student loans and saving for the future.
Setting goals
Couples would do well to heed Berry's call to action. You need to have a formal financial plan yet 60 per cent of Canadians don't do any financial goal-setting, and only one in three Canadians earned a passing grade on a recent industry-led test of basic investment knowledge.
Berry says there is no shortage of free financial planning resources in libraries and online. One of her favourites is Starting Your Financial Plan, a worksheet sponsored by the Manitoba government and available free online at www.gov.mb.ca.
As well, accredited financial planners and debt counsellors will shepherd anxious couples through the planning or rebuilding process, but Smith cautions that a couple with explosive money issues might want to consider signing up for a few sessions with a marriage counsellor first: "If the resentments have really built up, then love and caring can't penetrate those barriers. You sometimes need help opening the pathways of communication."
Smith finds it heartening that a growing number of people sought counselling from his company for marital and relationship issues last year. "Three-quarters of our marriage cases were couples who wanted to preserve their relationships," he says. "They didn't come to talk about divorce. Perhaps people are waking up to not only the emotional but also the extreme financial consequences of divorce, especially for women and children."
One of the other things that couples are waking up to, says Berry, is the notion of voluntary simplicity. "It's a lifestyle trend reacting against overburdening ourselves with consumer goods and debt and then spending time and energy earning the money to pay for it. People who go for voluntary simplicity consciously choose a pared-down lifestyle. They emphasize the importance of enjoying small pleasures, building strong relationships with family and friends and protecting the environment."
