Between friends: Preparing for the future

My mother-in-law is in her early 70s, and she still works, belongs to golf and bowling leagues, is active in her church and lives in her own apartment. Of my friends and relatives in their 80s and early 90s, there are some who still live in their own homes, several who live in seniors' residences that offer various levels of care, and others who live in full-service retirement centres where they have access to on-staff doctors and nurses. My friends are happy, comfortable and living the lives that they want – now.

These comfortable scenarios, which I wish for every elderly person, don't materialize overnight.

Consider Olivia and George, who were married for more than 50 years. They took daily outings, helped each other with day-to-day chores, visited with family and friends. They were happy, healthy and still madly in love. Then George died unexpectedly, leaving Olivia alone in the house. It soon became apparent that Olivia needed more help. Many months later, she is now settled into a seniors' residence, going on regular outings and having meals cooked for her. While she misses the love of her life, she's going on with hers, and has the support that she needs. Should Olivia's family and friends have been prepared? Maybe, but at what point do you start?

Whether it's prompted by the death of a spouse, an accident or an illness, we can all find ourselves in a "what do we do now?" situation. And if there's one thing that I've learned over the last few years, it's this: It's best to be prepared.

There are around three million Canadians acting as caregivers to aging family and friends. While it's a highly rewarding role, it can also be overwhelming. You must figure out what help your loved one needs, where to get it and how to proceed. Our Elder-Care Guide can help. We talked to home-care workers, lawyers, finance experts and caregivers for the best strategies.

Also in this issue: In the style section, you'll find a collection of cool-weather coats to fit your budget and three makeup trends that flatter no matter your comfort level. We've got bone-boosting exercises, plus a feature on living with diabetes at different stages of life. And in "Trading Places," we follow teens from southern Ontario on a visit to a high school in Nunavut, who then play host to young northerners at their school in Stratford, Ont. It's a story about two diverse communities coming together.

If you're looking for a cosy craft, you'll love the single-skein scarf. And there's lots of good food! We have savoury quick-prep slow cooker stews, harvest salads, yummy muffins, a taste of Alberta and more.

Until next month,
Susan Antonacci
@SusanCanLiving

This story was originally titled "Between Friends" in the November 2011 issue. Subscribe to Canadian Living today and never miss an issue!

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