My daughter recently moved out to take up residence with a couple of her friends in an apartment in downtown Toronto. It's not the first time Gia has lived away from home. She had lived on her own during her first year at university, but this time I'm finding it far more difficult.
After dropping off my daughter (and her stuff), I found myself crying uncontrollably as I made my way back home. While I was supportive of the fact that she wanted her independence, it finally dawned on me that this was probably it, that she had probably left the nest for good. When her brother left home it seemed like a much easier transition, perhaps because his job in musical theatre had already taken him away for long stints or maybe because he was ecstatic to be moving in with his girlfriend, Robin, whom I adore.
But with Gia's move, I felt a void, an emptiness that I couldn't seem to shake. I found myself using any excuse to call the three of them (Gabe, Gia and Robin) two or three times a day. Were they eating right? Were they getting enough sleep? Were they taking vitamins? (That one got the biggest laugh.) Not only was I calling them obsessively, but I also started cooking big batches of food and dropping it off (they live fairly close to one another; I, on the other hand, am about a 35-minute drive away). Even my husband was starting to give me "the look" every time I headed toward the phone, or started to fill up containers with more food. After a few weeks, my daughter finally said, "Mom, I love you, but you've got to back off a bit. My roommates are starting to ask when you're moving in."
I realized that I had to stop. They deserve their privacy and I needed to respect the fact that they are no longer children, they're adults. Now that I've backed off and call them only a couple of times a week, they're calling me more. I remember when I left home (the last to leave the nest) and how difficult it was for my mom, but I also remember that there were times when only "my mom" had the answers or could put things into perspective or calm me down – and it's nice to have my kids call me the same way. (You know, my mom's been gone for 14 years and I still miss not being able to talk to her.)
To celebrate Mother's Day, you'll find lots of mom-related content in this issue. In fashion, we feature mother-and-daughter bakeshop teams; in food, you'll find great breakfast recipes to treat Mom to breakfast in bed; and in health, words of health wisdom passed on from the mothers of our friends and colleagues. If you have a special story that you would like to share about your mom, I would love to hear it.
Until next time.
