Cure insomnia by talking yourself to sleep

By Paul McKenna

Learn to change the tone of your internal voice – it's a vital part of learning to run your own mind and it is immensely useful in learning to cure insomnia.

As well as pictures, we all use an 'internal voice' as part of our thinking. We use this voice when we are making decisions, and reflecting and commenting on things. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are using it most of the time we are awake. For example, you might be going shopping and say to yourself, "I must remember to buy some more bread." Or before you ask someone a question, you rehearse it in your mind before you speak it out loud. Mostly we use our internal voice to comment on what's happening in the world around us.

Where is your inner voice?
One particular aspect of this internal voice is very, very important to us because researchers have found that the way we talk to ourselves has a significant effect on how we feel. For example, pay attention to your internal voice right now. Say something to yourself about sleep. Now, stop and notice where that voice is located. Is it at the front of your head, the back, or to the side? Just check now, does it seem to be inside your head or outside? If it is in your head, is it to the front of your head or the back? Is it higher up or lower down?

Now that you have established where it is, say that phrase to yourself again. This time, notice the tone of the inner voice. Is it chatty? Anxious? Authoritative? Friendly? Is it excited or sad or neutral?

Changing the tone of your inner voice
Researchers have found that the tone of our internal voice affects how we feel – but crucially, most of the time we don't think about it and simply let the world around us determine the tone of voice we use. So if we feel we are in a stressful situation we tend to speak to ourselves with a sense of urgency, if it is a frustrating situation we tend to use an irritated tone, if it's a relaxing situation we tend to have a relaxed tone.

However, it is the tone of voice more than the situation that determines how you feel. So if you make a mistake, and tell yourself off with a voice like an old schoolteacher, your tone makes you feel bad. If you are nice to yourself and use a sweet, seductive tone of voice, you will instantly feel better.

The amazing thing is that you can simply choose to change the tone of the internal voice and it automatically changes how you feel. Try this as an experiment.

Remember a time you really made a mistake and how you criticized yourself. What kind of things did you say to yourself?

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