Could money issues ruin your relationship?

Find out how your partner feels about money
Being in a relationship is a funny thing. Once we find the person we've been looking for all of our lives, we begin to expect that this person should be able to "read" us. We think, "Gee, we know each other so well. I'm sure each of us knows how the other feels about everything."

We all do this. But consider the following question: Do you really know how your partner feels about money? Do you know his or her values about money? In Step Two, you are going to learn a technique that will help you identify your values. In the process you will discover how both you and your partner really feel about money at a core level. But that's for later. Right now, simply ask yourself this: On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being "money is the root of all evil," 10 being "money is more important to me than anything else"), ask yourself, How important is money to me? Then ask yourself, How important do I think it is to my partner? After you choose your own answers, ask your partner the same questions: How important is money to him or her? How important does your partner think money is to you?

How different were your responses from those of your partner? How different was your partner's response from what you expected it to be? How different was your response from what your partner expected?

The answers to these last three simple questions may lead to some very worthwhile conversations between the two of you.

I'm not sure my partner will talk about money with me
Many people find it difficult to bring up the subject of money with their partners. As a result, the subject often gets pushed under the rug -- over and over again. Maybe, they think, our money problems will just go away.

Trust me, they won't. They will only get worse. Dealing with financial matters is something any couple can do, but you've got to do the job yourselves, or it just won't get done. If the two of you don't make your finances a priority, they won't be one. Even if you hire a financial advisor, you've still got to make dealing with your finances a common goal that you both work toward together.

The couples who do the best financially are the couples who really work at it. They have done some soul-searching together, some dream-planning together, and they've put together a plan to make their goals and dreams a reality.

Read more: We're 31 and we paid off our mortgage

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Excerpted from Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach. Copyright 2003 by David Bach. Excerpted by permission of Doubleday Canada, a division of Random House of Canada Limited. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.