Poor, poor Jen:
Then her tales of single life woes are eclipsed by Brangelina having a baby.
And then, just as she tries to revive her status and resurface again, wham! they have twins.
It just doesn’t stop.
Every time she tries to get back on top of the tabloids, wham! they keep slamming her back down.
Wham! They get a house in France. Wham! The whole clan become goodwill ambassadors for the U.N. Wham! They make a film people actually want to see. And then another, and another, and yes, another!!
So now Jen’s finally got a baby bump, and just as the “candid” pictures are set to go viral, that damn Angelina wham! has a voluntary double mastectomy, and becomes a heroine and symbol of hope for breast cancer sufferers and survivors everywhere.
Can this woman not get a break? She’s decried the Rachel haircut that made her famous and spawned millions of acolytes, alienated Friends, made us forget Leprechaun, so what, oh PR gods, is there left for her to do??
Rumours are already abounding that Angie’s going to have her ovaries removed too, so really, Jen, sorry to say, you’re out of luck.
As for the rest of us, if we can ever get our heads out of the tabloids and stop trivializing the merits and failings of people whose everyday dealings are largely insignificant, we might recognize the courage it takes a woman to do what Angie did.
I know 3 women who’ve done it and I wish it were their stories you were reading about instead of debating if Angie is a hero or not.
For the record, she is.
More importantly, so are they.