Sure, they’re meant to maximize your assets, but while they push the girls up, they’re also pushing the girls out, which in turn makes the fabric of what you’re wearing push out which therefore makes you look like you have no waist and/or creates bulges where before there were none.
Though terrible for the psyche (where did those 10 lbs COME from??), it’s actually been great for the hips. Because I keep catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and thinking I’ve already eaten too much, I put down the cupcake/shortbread/brownies/candied caramels/6th piece of pie, and pick up the celery.
The raw, plain, boring celery.
Sure, I stare longingly at the cheese plates. Yule Logs have never looked so good. I mean, even the fruit cake seems appealing. And this is why they always tell you to eat before you go to the parties.
But I digress.
I mean, I may want to lick the icing of the bairn’s fingers, but I refrain. Because I know bathing suit season actually isn’t that far away, and that thought keeps me in check…