I am not an overly emotional person.
I can usually stay far enough away from a news story that I can keep my emotions in check.
But then Friday, December 14, rolled in and the world broke my heart.
No matter what I did, you were always on my mind.
I tried to envision what your weekend was like and I couldn’t do it.
I immediately had to come back to the safety of my life.
I couldn’t bear the pain.
I couldn’t let my mind go there.
It was too hard.
I cried for your children, for you and for all that is lost.
Because I can’t take away your pain, I did what I could here at home.
I hugged my kids a little bit tighter.
I let them eat that third cookie and didn’t make them eat their broccoli.
I let them stay up past their bedtime and I snuggled with them under the covers.
And through it all, I thought of you.
I wish more than anything that you could be doing all of these things, too.
There are no words.
There is nothing I or anyone else can say that will make any of this even a little bit easier.
I wish so much that the beautiful world we see through the eyes of our children was the world that we actually live in.
But, sadly, that isn’t so.
Sometimes the world just breaks our hearts and there is nothing left to say.
I’m keeping you close to my heart and in my thoughts and prayers.