A few of my galpals had a link to this blog posted on their Facebook pages today, entitled, “Moms, When Are You Going to Learn?”
In it, blogger mom Michelle discusses how we each have our own talents and priorities; basically, we are each “super” in our own ways. Just because these traits and priorities are different, that doesn’t make them wrong. She also stresses that she isn’t a supermom, and realistically, no one is.
She goes on to say: “We all are making the best of our collective situations, but it doesn’t mean we have to be assholes to each other. … We’ve all become so defensive and annoying about parenting.”
This struck a chord with me and judging from the number of shares and comments for this post, it did so with a lot of moms.
The thing is, why are we assholes to one another? There are those who would claim otherwise, but I’ve seen it myself so many times among friends, family, coworkers, at playgroups, playgrounds, online, everywhere really. The “it” I’m referring to is the quickness to judge, in particular, fellow moms. I’m guilty of it myself, and I’ve certainly been on the other end of judge-y eyes burning holes in my back. Neither is a very good feeling.
Do we judge because we feel like we’re failing ourselves in some regard? Or we’re unsure about something we’re doing with our own kids? I admit that sometimes I’m the most critical about moms who are lackadaisical, or seem to be, about their children’s health. I think that’s because I get hyper vigilant if my daughter is sick, or if I think she might be, because I’m never quite sure when she is, what I should do. This vulnerability makes us more apt to judge because it’s a way of coping with our own insecurities.
Bottom line, we all judge. This is not limited to moms by any means. In my experience, some of the harshest parenting critics are those who are childless or those who raised their kids so long ago, they seem to have forgotten the reality.
It’s just that in the case of moms, we’re a group that could fare so much better by supporting one another and sharing our superpowers when we can see other moms are flailing in certain areas, rather than wielding them with superiority and judgement.
I know I’m super in certain ways, and really un-super in others. If we could all help out our fellow moms with the superpowers we possess and get support with those we lack, then we could all, in fact, be supermoms!