Tag Archives: supermom
A few of my galpals had a link to this blog posted on their Facebook pages today, entitled, “Moms, When Are You Going to Learn?”
In it, blogger mom Michelle discusses how we each have our own talents and priorities; basically, we are each “super” in our own ways. Just because these traits and priorities are different, that doesn’t make them wrong. She also stresses that she isn’t a supermom, and realistically, no one is.
She goes on to say: “We all are making the best of our collective situations, but it doesn’t mean we have to be assholes to each other. … We’ve all become so defensive and annoying about parenting.”
This struck a chord with me and judging from the number of shares and comments for this post, it did so with a lot of moms.
The thing is, why are we assholes to one another? There are those who would claim otherwise, but I’ve seen it myself so many times among friends, family, coworkers, at playgroups, playgrounds, online, everywhere really. The “it” I’m referring to is the quickness to judge, in particular, fellow moms. I’m guilty of it myself, and I’ve certainly been on the other end of judge-y eyes burning holes in my back. Neither is a very good feeling.
Do we judge because we feel like we’re failing ourselves in some regard? Or we’re unsure about something we’re doing with our own kids? I admit that sometimes I’m the most critical about moms who are lackadaisical, or seem to be, about their children’s health. I think that’s because I get hyper vigilant if my daughter is sick, or if I think she might be, because I’m never quite sure when she is, what I should do. This vulnerability makes us more apt to judge because it’s a way of coping with our own insecurities.
Bottom line, we all judge. This is not limited to moms by any means. In my experience, some of the harshest parenting critics are those who are childless or those who raised their kids so long ago, they seem to have forgotten the reality.
It’s just that in the case of moms, we’re a group that could fare so much better by supporting one another and sharing our superpowers when we can see other moms are flailing in certain areas, rather than wielding them with superiority and judgement.
I know I’m super in certain ways, and really un-super in others. If we could all help out our fellow moms with the superpowers we possess and get support with those we lack, then we could all, in fact, be supermoms!
We’ve all heard that it’s hard trying to be a Supermom. Sure it is. But I decided to take it a different way. If I’ve got to be Supermom, well then, I want parenting advice from superheroes. Here’s the parenting advice I’ve gleaned from superhero movies, and how I’ve applied it lately.
“You’ve got me – who’s got you?”
Lois Lane in Superman
Canadian Margot Kidder provided one of the memorable quotes for the Christopher Reeve 1978 Superman movie. It’s a fun scene where Superman catches Lois, just like we’d all like to catch our kids in time when they fall down on the road to maturity. But her point is well taken: As moms we need our own support networks in place! (Here’s how to find other moms near you.)
“With great power comes great responsibility.”
-Ben Parker in Spider-Man
This is great scene just for the lecture Ben Parker gives Peter Parker on the teen years being the time you decide what kind of person you’re going to become. (And here’s how to be your kids’ courage coach.) But the same can be true in parenting. While my kids are small, at least, I am a big person in their world, and I don’t always have to assert that to get things done.
“Red means stop.”
Hellboy in, well, Hellboy
When you set a limit, you have to follow through with it – immediately. This is also known as “get off your butt” parenting. (Here’s how to raise a fearless child – and set limits too.)
“No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again.”
Even being Supermom means messes are going to happen, and books are going to get overdue at the library from time to time, and…you just save the world. Again. And again. (Get organized!)
- Mr. Incredible in The Incredibles
“Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”
This describes my toddler when he’s tired out. There is no sense in negotiating, offering distractions, or applying any parenting techniques that involve words. He just needs to be removed from whatever the situation is, held or not-held as his mood strikes, and gotten to bed as soon as possible. (Here’s how to handle the stress of having a toddler!)
- Alfred in The Dark Knight
Also, I want an Alfred to clean up my house and bring me tea.