The homework battle is familiar to most families. Kids will do almost anything to avoid it. Computer games, TV and friends are all high on their priority list, and homework gets pushed to the bottom of the heap. But when Sunday rolls around and that big science project has yet to be started, the tension builds – and often results in explosive arguments. And then it's just easier to do most of the work yourself. After all, who wants their children to fail?
But are you doing your kids any favours? In fact, you're probably hampering their ability to learn and leaving them ill-prepared for the future, says Sara Dimerman, director and founder of the Parent Education Resource Centre in Thornhill, Ont. But how do you know when to step in and when to step back? The experts weigh in on how to be a helpful – but not overbearing – parent.
Create a schedule
When it comes to homework and projects, a parent's job is to oversee and provide structure, says Joan W. Stafford, a family therapist and former teacher in Ottawa. To do well, your kids need organizational and time-management skills, self-advocacy and the ability to learn independently, she adds.
But how do you do that? Start by sitting down with your kids to create a homework schedule that works for your family. Routine and structure "enhance feelings of safety and security in students who are challenged in their own management of time," says Susan Maunula, a registered psychologist at the Calgary Learning Centre. Predictability also reduces the need for explanation or potential conflict – it takes away the ability for kids to say, "But Mom, I'll do it later!"
A good schedule can vary and it's the parent's job to figure out what works best. "It's important to take your child's personality into consideration," says Christine King, mom to Deena, 10, in Toronto. "I found a mix of evening and morning homework time works best for her." And, since she's easily distracted, Deena gets a quick break every half-hour or so.
Kathryn Dorrell, mom to Sophie, 8, and Liv, 11, says her kids need a little downtime after school. But she also learned not to push homework too late into the night. "If we pushed it past dinner, they'd say, ‘Can we watch TV for just 10 minutes?' And we'd say yes, and then it became a battle of procrastination," she says. Now her kids have a snack after school, play for a bit and then do schoolwork either before dinner or immediately after. There's no TV or friends if it's not done. Older kids can have hockey practice and other evening activities that eat into homework time. Homework may have to be done earlier or later on these days. That's fine, says Nicole Lafreniere, an assistant principal and teacher at St. Hilda Junior High school in Edmonton, as long as it's consistent.
Page 1 of 5 – Learn how to create a study space that eliminates distractions on page 2.
