The perfect match
Looking for extracurricular activities for your children? If so, consider their interests and talents, plus how the time commitments will affect others. Start with knowing your child, says Susan Stern, a psychotherapist in Toronto. If she's full of energy and loves team sports, think twice about ballet. Don't use programs to make your children into something they're not. "It's disturbing," says Stern, "when parents overextend themselves and the activity becomes an ordeal for them -- and colours the experience for the child."
Staying in the game
"I want to quit." It was my daughter talking about piano. I wondered, Do I acquiesce and give the message that it's OK to quit things that aren't easy, or do I insist she stick with her commitments, thus setting us up for a battle of wills? It depends.
Maybe your child thought she'd like to learn piano, but now realizes that she doesn't. But if she has a habit of quitting, you don't want to miss the opportunity to build some psychological muscle.
When commitment flags, says Lorna Blumen, with the Parent Education Network in Toronto, offer to practise with your child. End the session with a snack; explain the future rewards, such as being able to play the music you love. And recognize his efforts to hang in there. But if he really dislikes the experience, back out gracefully. "It's more important that your child felt supported by you when he needed it."
Page 1 of 1
