Amanda Gavin, a mom in Toronto, is watching uneasily as her 16-year-old son, Nicholas, struggles through high school. Nic calls school "a waste of time." He wants to quit, says Amanda. She adds that Nic has become careless with his schoolwork, defiant, disruptive and inattentive. "Many teachers say this behaviour is quite common among boys," she adds. Amanda is understandably worried. If you have a son and share her concern, here's how you can help him succeed in school.
1. Remain supportive.
A study by Jennifer Connolly, a psychology professor at York University in Toronto and the director of the LaMarsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolutions, has found that parental support for academic activities is especially important to boys – much more so than girls – as they move from middle school into high school. At this age, boys haven't yet developed positive attitudes about school. Connolly says that because of this, boys may be "particularly vulnerable to school problems if parental support is diminished in any way."
2. Get 'em, and keep 'em, reading.
Studies show that kids who have lower literacy scores leave school early. Erna Fraser, a consultant for elementary programs and literacy education with the Annapolis Valley Regional School Board in Wolfville, N.S., suggests parents work to ensure their boys have strong literacy skills from the get-go. "Read aloud to them, especially about subjects that are interesting to them. Take them to the library and to bookstores. Older boys may need a real reason to read. Point them toward a sports coaching module, instructions for a video game or a driver's licence handbook. Often reading skills are enhanced through writing. Encourage your son to prepare a résumé."
3. Include your son in decision making when he is young.
For example, "Allow your son to choose a new pair of jeans while staying within a clothing budget," suggests Mercer. "It helps boys develop the skills they need to make informed decisions and take healthy, calculated risks on their own." How does this relate back to his studies? A child with an ingrained template for good decision making is more likely to stick to his priorities and principles when he meets the greater challenges of high school.
4. Emphasize the importance of education.
Bill MacGregor, a former principal of the Career Technical Centre in Abbotsford, B.C., suggests parents set an example by taking a class, a course or an entire program of studies. Cynthia Hunt took a different step. Convinced her two sons would get a better education at a high school in Whitehorse than their former school in Dawson City, Yukon, she moved to Whitehorse with her boys. "Because I was willing to support their educational needs by moving with them, even though it meant leaving my job, they felt more motivated in their schoolwork. They could see how much our family valued education."
5. Set high expectations.
Fraser is adamant that "setting high expectations for your sons may get them through the hoops of high school, eventually." Statistics back her up. Children of parents who expect they will go to university are much more likely to pursue post- secondary education.
6. Monitor homework and studying.
Fraser adds that most parents' involvement with their kids' school life wanes as their children develop skills and become more independent. But we can't slack off. "Even if your sons are able to do the work required, don't assume it is getting done," she says. "Hang in there to the bitter end so your boys know that they're accountable."
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