Catherine Seck of Campbell River, B.C., recalls that her son felt overwhelmed in middle school. He wouldn't do homework, and frequently wanted to skip classes. But after he started Grade 10 and turned 16, "Something clicked in him, a genuine desire to do well," she says. He began doing homework and staying at school for extra help. "Now he even works hard in courses he doesn't like," says Catherine. She believes maturity made the difference.
8. Consider getting an assessment of your son's learning abilities.
When Amanda's son was assessed in Grade 10, she found out he had learning disabilities – and was relieved. "At least if some of his problems have been identified, he may have a chance of succeeding in school, rather than continuing to feel discouraged and wanting to quit," she says.
Individualized learning plans, resources such as computers and other accommodations are offered to kids in elementary and secondary schools who have learning disabilities. Talk with your son's teacher, his school principal and his physician, and advocate strongly for the school board to provide testing if you think a learning disability lurks behind your son's school performance or frustration. Private testing is expensive, but it's also faster. If you are facing a long wait for board testing, see if your employee assistance plan provides any coverage for private testing – some do.
9. Re-evaluate your son's high school.
MacGregor, who has three sons, says parents should ask themselves, What are my son's talents? and should "visit and assess the schools that have a reputation for embracing those talents." You can also consider whether your son would do better at a semestered high school, in which he would only take three or four courses at a time.
The jury is still out on whether same-sex schools deliver a better education than coed schools, but depending on your son's specific needs – and what you can afford – a boys-only school might be a good match for him. Other options to give him a boost include tutoring, summer school courses, correspondence courses and alternative public schools.
10. Keep an open mind.
Technical courses such as woodworking, welding or machine shop suit kids who want hands-on learning. "If boys can take courses with content that appeals to them, it will motivate them to learn and complete high school," says MacGregor. Abbotsford Collegiate in Abbotsford, B.C., for example, offers academic courses as well as studies in carpentry, electronics and dental hygiene. Remind your son that he must have a Grade 12 diploma or its equivalent before he can enter a skilled trade. Several provinces now allow high school students to earn school credits for workplace-based training in an approved trade. High school cooperative education courses also offer experience in the work force.
11. Encourage your son to get a part- time job.
"He will learn responsibility, how to take instructions and get along with people, use problem-solving and listening skills, learn to fend for himself and make money," says MacGregor. Perhaps most important, MacGregor adds, your son will ask himself, Is this what I want to do with my life, or do I want something better?
12. Remind your son that success is about more than marks.
Remain supportive of his social and extracurricular activities, and praise his excellence or enthusiasm in nonacademic activities. You can also discuss overall life goals. "Future life success is not solely determined by school performance," says Victoria Barlow, principal of Edgemont School in Calgary.
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| This story was originally titled "Girls vs. Boys" in the October 2009 issue. Subscribe to Canadian Living today and never miss an issue! |
