Plan ahead. For younger children, day camps and activities are a great way to keep them occupied during the workday, but be mindful of their time. "Kids like downtime and having every moment structured is stressful for them."
Be creative. What can be a stress for parents -- lack of child care -- might be an opportunity for adolescents -- babysitting. The summer can be a time for teens to take on responsibilities and earn spending money.
Communicate. It's OK to talk about money with kids aged seven and up; it's helpful for them to know what their parents can afford, so they can request activities or funds within the family's budget.
Family meetings and getting the kids involved
Young eyes widen with anticipation as they glance over the coffee table covered in maps and brochures for summer camps, national parks and campgrounds. On top of the stack is a blank sheet of paper soon to be filled with minutes from a family meeting – everyone's ideas on how to have a fun-filled summer. Gary J. Meiers, a marriage, family and child therapist in Edmonton, suggests sitting down for such a meeting before the end of the school year and developing a summer plan for your family based on answers from the following questions.
"What can we afford?" Parents should determine the budget ahead of time in private. Can you afford a dream vacation or will it be a summer of fun day trips close to home and weekend camping adventures? Once you have decided what you can afford, you're ready to brainstorm with your kids about what they'd like to do.
"What ideas do you have for the summer?" Gather suggestions from each family member and write them down. Listen to their ideas without evaluating them. In the end, it's up to you, the parents, to make final decisions.
"What do you want to do?" Ask followup questions; if they want to go on a trip, where to, for how long and with whom? If a suggestion is unattainable, such as too expensive, offer alternatives.
"How important are the things on your list?" You're asking your family to rank their ideas. If something is especially important -- maybe spending one relaxing week at home so you and your kids can enjoy summer's lazy pace -- make the effort to direct your attention toward that goal, while drafting a summer plan that works for everyone.
"Do you mean…?" Paraphrase what your children tell you so you can be sure you have fully understood their ideas and suggestions. This also allows your children to recognize that you are listening to their suggestions and value their input.
"Between options A, B and C, which would you rather do?" After evaluating everyone's suggestions, narrow them down to manageable activities and provide options. Seek out everyone's preferences, starting with the most desired, from the choices.
Tip: Don't worry if your plan doesn't come together all at once. Meiers says it's OK to problem-solve and debate about schedules in front of the kids. "Some kids never see conflict and resolution," he says, "and conflict is part of life."
Page 1 of 2 -- Kids itching to go to camp? Learn how to have a do-it-yourself camp on page 2.
