When a child faces discrimination
Whether short or plump, dark-skinned or light-skinned, born with tight, curly black hair or straight red hair, a wearer of glasses or of leg braces, your child may be teased about some aspect of his physical appearance at school. How well he deals with it will depend on his own personality, his level of self-esteem and how you prepare him for the occasional roughness of the world.
Every child should be grounded in his own family history and culture. Festivals, celebrations and family events are an excellent time for him to discover what makes your family so special. Encourage your children to talk to their grandparents and other family members about the old ways. Such conversations help them accept and love your family's differences when the dominant culture may seem to ignore them or to devalue them.
Understanding the basis of discrimination
If you are a visible minority, you might have to work extra hard to help your children counteract the negative attitudes that some people show toward those who look or worship the way you do. Recount stories about public figures, media stars or people in the history of your culture or your home country who could be role models for your child. When you watch TV with your child or see discriminatory stereotypes in other media, point out the inaccuracies. Talk with your child about discrimination in an age-appropriate way. She should understand that racism springs from ignorance, and that she has the right not to be ridiculed for her appearance and culture. But you don't want your six-year-old to be frightened of the world; save the most horrific details of the Holocaust and "ethnic cleansing" for when she is older.
Canadian ministries of education have developed policies and procedures to deal with discrimination. How well these policies and procedures are carried out depends to some extent on your board and your individual school's administration. Most school boards have offered professional development training to educators to learn how to prevent and cope with discrimination. School staff are obliged to stop racial teasing when they encounter it.
Unfortunately, most discriminatory incidents occur out of sight of a supervising teacher. If your child comes home with a story about such an incident, always treat her story seriously. Curb your anger, take a deep breath and calm down -- an extreme reaction may discourage her from telling you the next time. Sit down and patiently listen to your child's story without interrogating her. Tell her that the words she heard are hurtful and unacceptable, but reassure her that she has the right not to be bullied. Then ask her what she thinks you should do, or what she wants to do. The "correct" response will depend on your child's age and temperament.
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