Combating discrimination
When your child is between the ages of six and eight, consider speaking in the classroom about the festivals and events and perhaps the beliefs that are special to your family. At a later age, your child may be embarrassed to have you visit his classroom, but continue to monitor what he learns by talking with him about his schoolwork, by participating in a parent group or by conferring with principals and teachers at his school.
The educators who develop provincial or board curriculums and the related learning and instructional materials work hard to achieve the clearest representation possible of peoples of diverse backgrounds and abilities. If you're concerned, you might check for yourself to see how well the books and materials in your child's classroom and the school's library and resource centre reflect the variety of cultures in Canada.
Make sure your six- to eight-year-old knows where to seek help from an adult. Young children often have to learn schoolyard skills such as staying with a group for safety in numbers, avoiding troublesome kids and learning not to cry or react strongly -- a strong reaction only encourages a racial bully. You may want to talk to the teacher or principal, even if your child is against it. When your child is in the early grades, its a good strategy to learn how your school deals with racial incidents.
An older child is more likely to want to deal with the problem himself. Help him by putting appropriate words in his mouth. "Yes, I have one leg shorter than the other; what's that to you?" You can work together to devise a retort for verbal teasing, without encouraging your child to indulge in name calling: "Curly black hair is beautiful. It's calling other people names -- that's ugly." Role-playing can help a sensitive child learn ways to stand up for himself and stop being a victim.
If your child is physically hurt or if racial teasing seems to be a pattern in your community, you may be forced to intervene more strongly. Inform the school first; most staff are grateful to know if there's a problem they haven't noticed. Make every effort to work cooperatively with them to solve the situation. Don't be easily put off by administrators who believe there's no problem. You know best what's happening to your child. If necessary, involve the board's consultant on racial issues.
If you don't feel confident approaching these people because English or French is your second language, then take along a friend who can act as an advocate. Sometimes the parents of minority students must group together to make a complaint or to get enough attention from administrators to solve the problems and to help create an atmosphere that is accepting and supportive of their children.
It's a good experience for your children to witness community activism, especially when you're involved. A nine- or 10-year-old may like to hear about people in the news or in your community who are working to end discrimination. Your 11- or 12-year-old may be able to express movingly the hurt that results from racial discrimination. It is wonderful to grow up with the idea that many others are working toward a world where we all accept each other.
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