Giving your child a lot of praise is a good way to boost her self-confidence, right? Not necessarily, says Beverley Cathcart-Ross, a parenteducator and cofounder of the Parenting Network in Toronto.
"Praise is a reward, a bonbon for good behaviour or performance that only focuses on the end result,” she says. "Too much of it and you risk turning your child into a praiseseeking junkie who becomes dependent on your feedback and judgment. ("How am I doing Mommy? Watch me, watch me.")
Encouragement, on the other hand, focuses on effort and improvement ("You've come a long way. I remember when you had trouble with subtraction.") It can be given any time, even when a child is struggling.
On her latest parenting CD, Encouragement Skills: Preparing Our Children for Life, Cathcart-Ross addresses the difference between praise and encouragement and shares her Top 10 encouragement skills. To order, visit www.parentingnetwork.ca or call (416) 367-5613.
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