Toddlers (one to two)
The problem: Toddlers have a tendency to sneak out of their room after a parent turns his back.
The most common mistake parents unwittingly make: When parents begin to work on a habit, they often expect overnight results. But kids aren't couriers. Real change happens slowly and gradually; sometimes things get worse before they get better. But if you hang in there, your toddler will soon relent and bedtime will become the fun and loving time it's meant to be.
The solution: There are two equally effective approaches: First, there's the "Oops, silly me, I forgot something … I'll be right back" approach. Sit by your toddler's bed and tell her a story. After a brief period say, "Oops, I forgot something … I'll be right back." Leave the room but return quickly. Gradually stretch the length of time it takes you to return. Your toddler will soon fall asleep while she's waiting.
Alternatively, there's the "back to bed" approach. After you put your little tiger to bed, sit outside her room. If she gets out of bed, use a neutral but firm voice and say, "Back to bed." Nothing more, nothing less. When there are no secondary gains in getting up (no yelling, hugs, kisses or second tuck-ins) your toddler will quickly settle down.
Tricks of the trade:
•Put your toddler to bed when she's tired, not wired. Unlike adults, kids often get hyper when they're overtired, and it's harder to settle down when you're all wound up.
•Follow the one-wish rule. After putting your tot to bed tell her, "You can have one wish before I go. Do you want another kiss? Something to drink? A trip to the bathroom?" Respect this rule and you won't get callbacks.
Click here to learn more about toddlers' sleeping habits.
Preschoolers(three to five)
The problem: Many preschoolers insist someone lie down with them to help them fall asleep. Sleep dependencies are often carried over from a younger age. Plus, new issues pop up seemingly overnight. For instance, a child may develop a fear after watching television and flatly refuse to go to bed without Mom or Dad by his side.
The solution: Gently wean your child out of the dependency by gradually removing yourself from the room. First, sit at the head of the bed until your little one falls asleep. The next night sit in the middle of the bed and slowly shuffle out of the room. This allows your child to adjust bit by bit.
Tricks of the trade:
•If your child complains she's afraid and wants you to lie down beside her, say something like, "I know you're afraid but I have confidence that you can deal with your fears. How about I check on you in five minutes?"
•Assume it will take about 10 days to wean yourself out of the room.
Click here for more information about helping children overcome their fears.
