If Mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy: Give your family the gift of a happier you this holiday season
Our week-by-week action plan for having the best holiday season ever with your family. Don't forget to read the other parts in the series:
• If mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy 1: Mommy martyrs
• If mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy 2: Perfection is passé
CanadianLiving.com motherhood columnist and bestselling author Ann Douglas gives you the inside scoop on getting through the holidays without snarking at your family or totally losing sight of the spirit of the season
Part 3: Lose the holiday guilt
A no-regrets guide to celebrating on your own terms.
You know what they say about guilt: it's the gift that keeps on giving. And, at this time of year, guilt is only too happy to work around the clock, like an over-caffeinated elf working double-shifts at the toy factory.
So what is it about the holidays and guilt? Why do the two always seem to go hand in hand -- even for moms who aren't necessarily subscribers to the guilt-of-the-month club at other times of the year?
According to Laura Byrne Paquet, author of The Urge to Splurge: A Social History of Shopping (ECW Press), the emotional stakes are simply that much higher during the holiday season.
"The pressure put on getting Christmas 'right' has been building over recent years. Time-stressed parents often see Christmas as one of their few golden opportunities to create an ideal family occasion -- the ideal constantly promoted by holiday specials and rose-tinted ads."
And when you set the bar that high for yourself, it's hard not to disappoint someone: the neighbour whose party you opted out of because something on your schedule had to give or the girlfriend you never did find time to "do lunch" with in the midst of all the holiday chaos, says Susan Newman, PhD, author of author of The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It And Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever (McGraw-Hill). "No matter how much you try, someone is probably going to be unhappy."
