Improve your children's behaviour by knowing when to yield and when to stand your ground

Although it is important to give your child some independence, there are times when you need to pull rank. Parents are the commanders in chief of the battalion known as your family. When safety, fair play, and decency are in play, you will need to insist that your deadlines are non-negotiable. However, the good news is that the more opportunities your children have to make their own choices, the less likely they are to resist your authority when you do have to put your foot down.

From normal power struggles to oppositional behaviour
If your child's behaviour is more difficult than that of others in his or her age group and it is affecting your family, or your child's social or academic life, your child may be exhibiting signs of a controversial clinical condition called oppositional defiant disorder. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry advises that you seek advice from your doctor if your child exhibits four or more of the following traits:

• frequent temper tantrums

• argues excessively with adults

• displays active defiance and refuses to comply with any adult requests or rules

• seems to deliberately annoy or upset people

• blames others for their mistakes or misbehaviour

• is touchy and easily annoyed by others

• is frequently angry and resentful

• says mean and hurtful things when upset

• seeks revenge

Remember also, that kids of all ages can have bad days, just like we do. Kids who are temporarily stressed out, tired or hungry are bound to be cranky. Sometimes, all your child needs is to be left alone to chill.

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