Dinner conversation
Make the focus of the family meal conversation rather than the act of refuelling the body. Children need to know that at dinner the family matters most. By spending uninterrupted relaxed time with your kids, you convey that you're emotionally available to them which, in turn, encourages your child to open up to you.
Except during the Stanley Cup or the Olympics, perhaps, you'll be wasting precious family time if you eat in front of the TV. So turn the TV off and take the phone off the hook. Some kids get so wrapped up in a show that they don't even know if they've eaten. And your child will miss his body's cues of hunger or satiation if he's mesmerized by a TV show.
Children learn manners by imitating their parents. So remember: no elbows on the table; no dunking your cookie in your coffee; bring your food up to your mouth, not your mouth down to your plate; compliment the cook. The kids are watching and listening.
Make dinners special. Celebrate the first snowfall or the last day of school. Ask a family member to contribute a centrepiece or make a special dessert. Eat together at the dining-room table occasionally. Light candles or dim the lights, and the conversation will soften, too.
Talk, talk, talk
Jan Kindred of White City, Saskatchewan, craved meaningful conversation around the dinner table with her husband and their nine-year-old twin daughters. Kindred developed questions to draw families into more meaningful dialogue. For dinner conversation tonight, try one of Kindred's openers.
- If you were given $10,000 tomorrow, how would you spend it?
- If you could travel in a time machine, would you go into the past or into the future?
- If you could be invisible for one day, what would you do?
- If you could run away with the circus, what performer would you like to be?
- Tell one fond memory that you have of each family member.
- If you met someone who knew nothing about you, what interesting things could you tell them about yourself?
- Name some things that make you happy that do not cost money.
- How long do you think a couple should be engaged before they marry?
- Do you believe in miracles?
