I remember some friends threw a party for us not long after Trevor came to live with me. He would come over and sit down in my lap when he wanted to be with me, and I'd wrap my arms around the most beautiful little child in the world, so keenly aware that he was putting his trust in me. I can't count the times I found myself getting choked up. Parenting opens the flood gates of emotion, and you can't close them.
Life with my son
Another moment that stands out is Trevor's first Halloween at his new school. The parents were invited, so I went all out and made orange-and-black cupcakes. They were such a hit that a classmate of Trevor's exclaimed, "Wow, cool. Look at what Trevor's dad made." I almost started bawling. Very soon after, Trevor started calling me "Dad," not "Edward." There was no question in his head: I was his dad.
Trevor is now 10, and he has changed in so many ways in the four years he's been my son. He's coming into his own. He has learned to trust more. He hugs. He has a natural gift to be on stage, which has grown. He's much more calm. He was almost labelled as having ADHD back in 2004 because he was so wound up. That's all gone now. He used to have allergies, but they disappeared within two months of coming home with me. It turns out they were stress-induced.
I've discovered a lot about myself along the journey. I can't do "new math," for one thing! But I have learned to be more patient, to be more tolerant. I've learned to let unimportant things go. Trevor is headstrong and energetic, and likes to challenge, and I've learned where my threshold is. At the same time, raising a child like Trevor has pushed my boundaries. I've learned it's important to say, "I don't know, but we'll find out together." In hindsight, the only thing I would change is starting the adoption journey a little earlier. I'm so grateful for the sheer amount of joy in my life now, thanks to that little boy in the photograph with the soulful eyes.
Read more:
• Five things no one tells you about being a parent
• Do you buy too many things for the kids?
• Teach your kids to make a difference
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