Picking the perfect sitter
This story was originally titled "The Canadian Living Babysitting Guide" in the November 2008 issue. Subscribe to Canadian Living today and never miss an issue!
When it comes to finding a babysitter, Patricia Bulley admits she's a bit of a stalker mom. "I'm always scouting girls out, watching to see how mature they are," she says, laughing. Patricia, who has two daughters, Abby, 6, and Ella, 3, works shift work, so having a roster of reliable sitters on hand is essential. But as so many parents quickly discover, they aren't always easy to find – or keep.
Especially the good ones. Hayley, 14, is the babysitting mogul of her west Toronto neighbourhood. Hayley's mother, police Det. Sgt. Pauline Gray, began preparing her daughter for the responsibility of caring for other people's children long before Hayley hung out her shingle. "We started off by paying her to occupy our friends' younger children when we had dinner parties," says Pauline. "Now she's generating her own flyers and business cards."
Whether you're in Patricia's position of trying to line up a babysitter you trust or you're helping prep your own tween for the job, you'll find the smartest strategies come from seasoned pros. We asked babysitting experts – including satisfied parents and teens in the trenches – for their tried-and-true advice on what works and what doesn't.
As desperate as you may be for an adult night out, don't let down your guard. ''Parents take too many risks with their sitters,'' says Samantha Wilson, president of Kidproof Child Safety and author of The Babysitter's Handbook (Kidproof Safety, 2007). "They don't take the time they would in any other situation involving their children." Here’s how to make hiring a babysitter a relatively worry-free experience.
Do your homework
Get multiple references – and follow up. They can be from neighbours, teachers, other babysitting clients or the soccer coach. Ask open-ended questions such as, 'Tell me about Sally,' or 'What's she like with other children?' ''You're trying to get a sense of the patience and maturity level of the sitter,'' says Wilson. If you like what you hear, set up an interview and watch how the sitter interacts with your children. While maturity and good judgment are key, you also want someone who genuinely likes children and will do fun things with them.
Don't hesitate to ask a few scenario-style questions: 'What would you do if my child had a fever or if someone came to the door'? Check, too, whether the potential sitter has taken a babysitting course. "At least then he has some basic knowledge about child behaviour, so he knows it’s not appropriate to give a toddler food to take to bed or he doesn't think, 'Wouldn't it be great to bring over my Lego set to share with the baby?' " says Ann Douglas, a mother of four in Peterborough, Ont., and the author of numerous parenting books.
If the prescreening is successful, pay the sitter to watch your children for a few hours while you’re there, too.
Check in on occasion during the trial run to see how everyone's getting along. "If the sitter is on the couch reading a book and ignoring the children, you can pretty much gauge how things will go in your absence," says Douglas.
