One day – May 4, 2006, the birthday of my late, beloved cousin – I was in a rush. I had to work at one-thirty, and by the time we finished eating, got a toy, and picked up a gift for friend's new baby, I was running quite late. Rowan was dilly-dallying, wanting to look at his new miniature animals. I told him we'd get them in two seconds when we got to the car.
"Mommy, I need my ostrich now!" I love the way he says ostwich, and in that moment, I could understand how badly he wanted his toy. I understood that he didn't know what "We'll be at the car in two second" meant. For all he knew, it could be a lifetime from now.
A compliment
Without thinking, I dropped my bags and sat down on the concrete with Ro. We dug through the toy bag until we found his ostrich. Then I got up and began packing again. Suddenly a woman came of to us. "I just want you to know that I've been watching you with your child. It was so beautiful to see you stop before a tantrum started and get down on the ground and get what he was asking for."
I was shocked. In my job as a musician, I am always complimented. Sometimes, although I am grateful, I wonder why people compliment me for doing what comes so naturally and easily, for something that already comes with so many hyperbolized rewards. Mothers, however, rarely get compliments, regardless of how richly they might be deserved.
The woman continued, "I want you to know how much I've learned from watching you. I will take that into the rest of my day and into my own journey as a mother."
"Motherhood has made everything in my life feel more authentic"
In my journey as a mother, I have watched my two worlds collide: my music and my babies. And I'm surprised at how they reinforce each other. I've never felt so creative in my life. My latest album, Ghost Stories, is my least ambitious, yet it's my favourite. One of the songs on it, "All I Can Do," is about my sons.
It's all I can do to love my children with my heart and soul. Motherhood has made everything in my life feel more authentic. It's made my music better. It's made me feel as if I've landed and can really be myself.
All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
When the day is long and the night is coming down on you
All I can do
All I can do
All I can do …
What a lovely day to shape your dreams
And you don't even have to sleep
You can make it what you want to be
You can fly away
You can change your name
Have a happy face
It could be so real
Ohhhh
All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
When the day is long and the night is coming down on you
All I can do
All I can do
All I can do
It's all that I can do
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