Making Friends: The Best Antidote
Friendships are critical to the social and emotional development of any child, but shyness may sometimes make it more difficult for a friendship to develop. Shyness is a potentially serious problem if a child is unable to make or keep friends. It's important to address the problem when your child is young by helping him to make friends, and then encouraging and supporting the development of those friendships. Shy children may need more contact with their parents; when you take your child to an event, don't just drop her off. Stay awhile and talk to help your child warm up a bit to the others.
The shy six-year-old may be hesitant and reluctant to meet other kids in the neighbourhood. Encourage him to befriend another quiet child who doesn't threaten your son in any way. As they become comfortable with each other, encourage the two of them to visit and get to know other kids in the neighbourhood, which should be easier together than on their own.
Building friendships
Take an active role in arranging activities that your child will enjoy, but be selective. Make your home a secure and inviting place for your child to play with friends. Keep games, puzzles, and refreshments on hand. Get the child involved in nonthreatening activities like swimming, painting, music, summer day camp, or a team sport in which he has some ability, If the child enjoys the activity, then social interaction may be a natural byproduct.
Some shy children are just slow to warm up to people, but they may be very observant and sensitive to nuances. They may develop friendships with fewer children, but these friendships may be closer. Many shy children are more comfortable one on one or in small groups, rather than in a large crowd. Show your child that you value and respect his friends. Treat them with good humour, and make them feel like members of your family. Good friends, who like and are comfortable with each other, help one another to grow and develop.
Excerpted from Raising great Kids: Ages 6 to 12 by Christine Langlois. Copyright 1999 by Telemedia Communications Inc. Excerpted, with permission by Ballantine Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
