What one mother learned from her teenage daughter's pregnancy

People often make negative comments when they see Cara and Sancia together. Women on the bus will say to my daughter, "Babies shouldn't be having babies." Cara says she just ignores them. She loves her life now – and I do, too. Cara told me recently, "The greatest gift I can give Sancia is the unwavering support and unconditional love you gave to me." That's the best present a mother can receive.

I have discovered since my granddaughter came into my life that my heart has so much love. Sancia stood on top of the climber one day in the playground and hollered: "You are so beautiful, Nana." I thought, Yeah! I am.

Nancy Best is a proud grandmother, a student minister in rural Quebec and is enrolled in a master's of divinity program. Cara is a stay-at-home mom who plans to go to college and work with homeless teen girls.

Resources for pregnant teens and their parents
For teens
• The Canadian Federation for Sexual Health. A national network that provides clinical services and counselling for pregnant teens, as well as training in parenting and child care, anger and stress management, and life skills for young and single parents and their children.

• Sexualityandu.ca. An informative website, administered by the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada, providing up-to-date information on sexual health for teens and parents.

• The Little Black Book for Girlz: A Book on Healthy Sexuality by the St. Stephen's Community House in Toronto. Written by teens for teens, it's an excellent overview of many of the issues that confront young women today, including pregnancy.

For parents and guardians
• Wishing: Diaries of a Teen Pregnancy. Ottawa-based parenting coach Kim McLeod, a.k.a. Grandma K, based her book on the diaries she kept during her teens in the 1980s. The book is a personal account of teen relationships, sex and pregnancy.

• Teachingsexualhealth.ca. An Alberta-based website with information for parents across Canada about all aspects of sexuality, as well as tips and strategies for talking comfortably with your teen about pregnancy.

• Contact your family doctor or local public health office to inquire about adolescent-focused prenatal and postnatal services, as well as support groups that can best meet your teenager's social and emotional needs during pregnancy. These resources are also a good place to ask about groups and programs for parents of pregnant teens.
– Sarah Jane Silva


This story was originally titled "Within a Mother's Heart" in the March 2009 issue. Subscribe to Canadian Living today and never miss an issue!


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