If you are concerned your ex may flee with your child, Carla Betker, director of Child Find Manitoba, suggests you take the following precautions.
1. Contact a lawyer and specify in writing custody and access, including the time the child should be returned after a visit with the other parent.
2. Try to secure as much personal information about the other parent as possible, including any of the following.
• Social insurance, driver’s licence and passport numbers
• Credit card information and bank account numbers
• Phone numbers and addresses for the other parent’s employer
• Vehicle make, model, year and licence plate number
• Photo of child with other parent
• Complete list of all relatives and friends and contact information
3. As long as the custody order is being respected, deal with the other parent in a civil, cooperative manner and maintain ties with the relatives, especially his or her own parents. “Grandparents usually know where their grandchildren are,” adds Betker.
4. Provide the school or day care with a copy of the custody order along with a photo of the other parent and your child. “Explain who is allowed to pick your child up and when,” says Betker. “If access is only on weekends, for example, the other parent shouldn’t be picking your child up on Wednesday.”
5. Talk to your children. Teach them how to use a telephone, pay phone and e-mail, and help them memorize their name, phone number and address. “Kids who are abducted are often told the other parent doesn’t want them or has died, so they’re left believing there’s no point in trying to find the other parent,” says Betker. While she recognizes the difficulty of this conversation, reassure your children that you’ll always love them.
by Laurie Mackenzie
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