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Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful.
-- M. Scott Peck
Most parents, with their decision to raise a family together, have made a commitment to do their best to live "happily ever after" with their partners. If your children become the sole focus in your family, you risk disconnecting from each other and overindulging your children. If, however, you choose to devote weekly time to each other as a couple, you are investing in the long-term health of your relationship. You are also demonstrating to your children what a healthy, loving adult relationship requires -- time and attention to each other. Furthermore, children feel safe and secure when their parents have a strong bond together.
Nurture your primary relationship. Consider these tips:
Choose a weekly date night.
Once a week, devote the evening or a period of time solely to you and your life partner. Go out to dinner, take a walk and have a picnic, ride bikes together, go to the gym and have coffee afterwards. Choose activities that fit into your budget and help you both relax.
Rediscover your common interests.
What brought you together in the first place? What do you enjoy doing together? Rediscover these connections and weave them into your date night. Go to a museum or play tennis. One of my client's "date nights" is actually hiking on Sunday afternoons with her husband. Get creative and renew your sense of adventure together.
Keep it light and enjoyable.
The goal is to connect and enjoy each other. My husband and I have learned not to talk about family dramas or financial issues on date night. Figure out your off-limits areas and save the potentially stressful conversations for another time.
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