1. If you wait for every possible labour symptom to kick in before heading off to labour and delivery, you'll end up giving birth on your bathroom floor.
While you may be afraid of embarrassing yourself by showing up at the hospital in false labour, you'll look even more foolish if you end up giving birth on the side of the highway in the middle of rush hour.
2. There's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all labour.
You could end up with one of those long, drawn-out labours that everyone in your life seems to delight in telling you about -- or could find yourself with one of those dream deliveries that's bound to make you the envy of your prenatal class buddies.
3. Your birth plan isn't necessarily a blueprint for the actual delivery.
Just as some guys seem to think it's a personal failing to look at a roadmap while they're driving, some babies seem determined to ignore the birth plans that their mommies have so carefully drafted. Bottom line? Your birth plan is a wish list, not a legal document.
4. Pregnancy books are big on euphemisms.
This point was hammered home for me by one of the moms I interviewed for The Mother of All Pregnancy Books: "You know how the pregnancy books all describe the 'slight burning sensation' that you're supposed to experience when the baby's head begins to crown?" she told me. "Well, it's like a ----ing blowtorch!"
5. You may not feel like bonding with your partner while you're in labour.
Rather than being tempted to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, as those women in the birthing films all seem to do, you may want to kick his sorry butt out of the birthing room altogether. After all, he helped to get you in this predicament in the first place!
Page 1 of 2 -- Learn what to expect before, during and after labour on page 2
