Sometimes the conflicting emotions of anticipation and anxiety can be overwhelming. But these emotions may play a part in preparing you to become a parent. Since a baby brings major changes to your life, a little upheaval during pregnancy helps a couple adapt to the turmoil that's typical of life with a new baby. If, however, you find your emotions are too close to the surface, look at your schedule. A daily walk is one way to ease stress. When you're overtired, you react more strongly to negative feelings, so grab a nap during the afternoon whenever you can. Develop a routine that helps you wind down and relax at the end of the day.
Activities like preparing space in your home for a nursery, washing baby clothes, and collecting the necessary equipment will make the baby's impending arrival more real for you. Pick up on opportunities to talk with other expectant parents-their comments and suggestions will get your mind in gear. Register for prenatal classes early in your pregnancy through your hospital or public health unit, or check the Yellow Pages under Prenatal Classes.
Besides learning about the mechanics of birth and the techniques that will help you with labour and delivery, you will have a chance to talk with others about the whole experience. Sometimes in the context of a freewheeling classroom discussion, one partner will mention a concern that you both can discuss and resolve together after class. Be sure to ask your doctor if you can arrange a tour of the hospital services.
Your own parents are bound to be excited by the prospect of grandchildren. Ask them about their memories of when they were expecting you. From the time we were children ourselves, we never tire of hearing stories about our past. Listen to their recollections and continue the story-telling tradition with your own children.
Some Typical Pre-Birth Worries
I'm not sure I'll be a good parent.
The fact that you're reading this book means that you want to learn about how your child will grow and develop and what he will need from you. That willingness to learn is key to becoming a responsive and understanding parent. Find out as much as you can, not only from books but also from spending time with the children of your friends or relatives. Offer to babysit, to hold a baby for a few minutes, to change a diaper. If you would like the opportunity to pose your questions to experts, contact your local public health unit or family services association about parenting classes in your area.
You may also be worried about your ability to be a good parent because you, as a child, did not receive good parenting. This is a good time to reflect on your positive and negative childhood experiences and to get professional help if childhood memories of abuse surface.
