Sometimes I'm afraid our baby might not be born healthy.
Worry about the baby's health is probably the most common anxiety of expectant parents. And knowing that the likelihood of a problem is very slight doesn't necessarily calm your fears about your baby. For the record, Canada's infant mortality rate for children under one year of age is 6.3 per 1,000 live births, one of the lowest in the world. But if worry about your fetus consumes your days and nights, try talking out your fears with your partner who may be experiencing the same emotions. Sometimes just talking out your fears will help both of you. Your doctor or your midwife can help you find answers to specific concerns. Above all, continue to provide the best possible environment for your developing fetus.
I worry that the baby will put a lot of stress on our relationship.
Your relationship with your partner will certainly change when a baby joins the party. You might be noticing changes already. The focus of the relationship shifts to the baby and away from the other partner. But you're still the same team and this is an adventure that, if embarked on as a team, will enhance your relationship. If romantic moments occur less frequently, don't allow them to disappear. Take the time daily to hold hands, to hug, to share some intimate thoughts even if you are unable to do anything else.
I'm not sure we can afford a baby.
The good news about babies is that they don't care about fancy gear and designer clothes. Put the word out to other parents that you're accepting hand-me-downs, check garage sales for equipment (but be aware of safety requirements), and join a toylending library - these methods will stretch your budget over several more months, even years. A debatable benefit is that your household expenses may be lower because you won't have as much time for socializing and entertaining.
I watch the news at night, and I wonder if it's right to bring a new life into a world that is rife with danger.
It's easy for a parent-to-be to feel overcome by all the worst-case scenarios. Try to focus on the positive. Remember, you live in a democratic country that is not at war, that is not subject to drought and famine, and that has a decent health-care system. And you are providing your baby with an immediate environment that is safe and loving. Perhaps this tiny soul you're bringing into the world will make news herself by growing up to develop a cure for AIDS or to lead an environmental crusade that will result in cleaner air.
Excerpted from Growing with Your Child: Pre-Birth to Age 5 by Christine Langlois. Copyright 1998 by Telemedia Communications Inc. Excerpted, with permission by Ballantine Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
