Most high-school guidance departments can offer the kind of aptitude tests and interest inventories that help a student learn about himself. If not, you might contact a psychologist and inquire about the tests available and the related fees. Check your health-care plan to see if a psychologist's fees and aptitude tests are covered.
Most people like to see an objective analysis of their capabilities and interests, and students may be relieved to find that the test reveals what they already knew -- for example, that they learn best from hands-on experience and don't learn easily from reading and writing. Such an official analysis might end months of miserable conflict between parent and child about their academic achievement. Parents should not impose the goal of a university degree if their child gives no immediate evidence of interest in or ability to pursue that goal.
You can both consider other options for his future and be prepared to accept that your teen may not be best served by what the school system has to offer at this time. Be aware of your teen's strengths and his interests. Set an achievement target that your teen supports.
If he's getting 50s and you want 80s, compromise and set a target for the mid-60s as a first step. The worst thing a parent can do is to assume the child is lazy or unmotivated, warns psychologist Harvey Mandel, author of Could Do Better: Why Children Underachieve and What to Do about It (HarperCollins, 1995), a step-by-step guide to helping parents help their kids who are underachieving. "Too many parents make the assumption that, if my child fails now, his life is over. Parents need to know that teens can survive most of the difficulties they will ever encounter... Don't give up hope."
Page 3 of 3
